


Never Gonna Wanna Let Me Go

by letsyesnomaybe



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-12
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:32:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7990282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsyesnomaybe/pseuds/letsyesnomaybe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn Malik is one of the highest paid escorts in London. He’s good at his job, he knows this. But it’s not his chosen field, it’s easy money so he can have a chance to pursue his chosen field without becoming homeless. His employer Caroline has many rules to keep him safe but Zayn only has one ‘Don’t Get Attached’. Of course, there was always going to be one, the guy who would come in to the picture and make Zayn’s easy job almost impossible. </p><p>  <i>Liam Payne. Twenty Six. Made his money by inheriting his father’s music business after he passed away. Quite well known so expect publicity. Wants a pretty face on his arm to cover the events he has to attend while in town on business. Make sure he knows if he wants extra he has to pay. You’ve got your usual expenses on your card, don’t go overboard like last time. I mean it, Malik! Your share for the weekend will go in your account on Monday when you’ve done your job.</i></p><p>  <i>Love you babes, stay safe, C x</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Zayn’s a smart man and sometimes he does question the life choices that had lead him to his chosen field of work. His roommate Harry says it’s his poor judgement that’s landed him as a male escort. But he knows its the only way he keeps control. His father wanted him to be a doctor, his mother wanted him to be a teacher but he wanted to be an artist. 

So, until he gets the recognition for his art that he deserves (and in order to be able to spend his days sitting in his and Harry’s spare room in his lucky joggers and with his naked upper half covered in paint) he needed a way to make quick money. 

“You’re like a high class porn star.” Harry decides as he sits on Zayn’s bed, watching him doll himself up to meet his latest client. 

“Porn stars have a lot more sex than me,” Zayn snorts as he rubs some gel on his hands before running his fingers through his hair. “Probably get paid more too.” 

“And they don’t have to see old saggy man balls.” Harry says in disgust. 

“I’d rather have a riveting conversation and fuck an old guy than hear some kid fake moan.” Zayn replies in his normal mantra and ends up throwing the nearest thing at his best friend, when he catches him mouthing along in the mirror. 

Harry makes a dramatic scene of dodging the remote control and almost falls off Zayn’s bed. 

“You know you can’t keep this up forever.” Harry tells him and Zayn gears himself for his usual ‘I love you and want better for you’ speech that he gets before every appointment. 

Zayn finishes getting ready while Harry goes through the entire speech and when he’s sure the other lad is done, he goes over to kiss him on the forehead. 

“Be safe, okay?” Harry pleads. “Call me every night because I will call the police.” 

“Call Caroline first.” He pleads because they’d been down this road before and technically what Zayn does isn’t legal. 

Harry pouts at him. “I don’t want to have to do that, Z.” 

“I’ll keep safe.” Zayn promises and brushes his hands through Harry’s long hair before dragging him in to a cuddle. “Don’t stay in the flat worrying all weekend, yeah? Get your arse down to the local and get yourself some.” 

Harry snorts in to his shoulder and then cheekily swats Zayn’s arse. “Enjoy your old man balls.” 

“Always do.” Zayn replies and finally moves away from the younger lad to grab his keys, phone and wallet before leaving the flat. 

***

Caroline is his ‘pimp’ but she’s slapped him several times for calling her ‘Queen pimp’. She likes to see herself as a woman who saw a business opportunity and went with it. When she began she only had Zayn and one other client, now she’s got over thirty of them. He feels like he’s supposed to hate her but she treats him better than family and has sent her husband (who is correctly named bodybuilder Mike) to rough up any guys who had given Zayn a hard time. 

Zayn doesn’t get his client info until he’s in the back of one of Caroline’s pre-paid cabs on his way to meet them. It’s so he doesn’t have chance to look them up, his clients usually having some kind of google history. Of course Caroline has already done all the background checks needed and made all of the arrangements. All he has to do is his job and that is to look pretty and be a willing participant. 

She’s late on this particular one, his phone not beeping with an email of information until the cab is pulling up to the Marriott (their usual meet up spot because Caroline knows the manager and if Zayn wants out early then he’ll be safe enough to leave without a problem).  

_Liam Payne. Twenty Six. Made his money by inheriting his father’s music business after he passed away. Quite well known so expect publicity. Wants a pretty face on his arm to cover the events he has to attend while in town on business. Make sure he knows if he wants extra he has to pay. You’ve got your usual expenses on your card, don’t go overboard like last time. I mean it, Malik! Your share for the weekend will go in your account on Monday when you’ve done your job._

_Love you babes, stay safe, C x_

Zayn offers the driver a parting nod and climbs out of the car. He’s got a small roller suitcase that he grabs from the boot. Looking all the part of a business man, about to spend a few nights in some fancy hotel. 

When he gets inside, he gives a nod to the receptionist before bypassing to get to the bar. He does a quick scan of the room, trying to find his mark. After two years, he’s gotten pretty good at spotting clients. It’s usually the only person in the room who’s looking at him nervously rather than devouring. 

But he comes up blank and is about to drag up Caroline’s number on his phone, to inform her that her bloke is a no show when someone clears their throat to get his attention. 

“Mr Malik?” 

Zayn takes in the sight of the bloke in front of him and has to swallow his dry throat because this man is beautiful. He’s got a face that has Zayn referencing different types of bear in his mind. He’s filling out the suit he’s wearing, in the most perfect way. He’s so well put together that there’s already questions filling Zayn’s mind as to why he would need to ring an escort service. 

“Mr Payne?” Zayn asks though he can hear the uncertainty in his own voice. 

Liam looks him up and down and nods his head in approval. “You’ll do.” 

“Yeah?” Zayn wonders, pushing his best seductive smirk to his lips. 

“You’re trying too hard,” Liam scolds and he gives Zayn such a disproving look, that it actually makes him feel guilty. “I’m already paying you. You don’t need to seduce me.” 

“Some guys like the normality.” Zayn informs him as he starts to wonder if there’s something Caroline forgot to fill him in about this guy. 

“I’m not some guys.” Liam replies, turning back to the bar to order himself a drink. 

Zayn settles in beside him and orders himself a Jack Daniels on ice when the bartender turns his attention in his direction. 

“Put it on my tab.” Liam says before Zayn even has chance to reach for his wallet. 

Zayn stays quiet and obedient, waiting for Liam to begin the conversation, even when their drinks had been placed down in front of them. 

“So, you really do sit there and look pretty.” Liam observes. 

“I’m whatever you need me to be, babe.” Zayn replies and straightens himself out in his chair, to make sure he looks the most appealing. 

Liam’s eyes devour him but the way they do make Zayn feel almost self conscious. It’s not the usual ‘I want to take you right here right now’ or even ‘I can’t believe this beautiful human is even speaking to me’ but it’s more curious, even slightly disproving. 

“Tonight you tell me what you want,” Zayn explains, keeping his own gaze away from Liam’s piercing one. “It’s why we meet on Thursday night instead of Friday morning. You tell me what you want and I’ll spend the weekend being exactly what you need.” 

“I’m not sure which one of us sounds more depressing in this situation.” Liam replies and for a moment a look of sadness crosses his face but he quickly stools it. “So, you need to know what I want.” 

“It’s a good place to start.” Zayn replies, taking a sip from his drink. He usually doesn’t order an alcoholic drink (wanting to keep a straight head) but there’s something about Liam that makes him feel like he might need it. 

“I want to throw it in their faces,” Liam starts. “So many of my business partners show up to these ridiculous events with a beautiful woman on their arm. I wanted to be the one to show up with a pretty thing this time.” 

Zayn nods, used to being referred to as an object than a person by now. 

“They think because I’m gay I have to fall in love to have the guts to be public with a man.” Liam continues. “I’m going to prove to them that’s not the case.” 

“I’m pretty sure if you went to any bar in the city, you’d find a good looking guy willing to show his face in public with you without having to pay him.” Zayn replies because he’s sure Liam’s seen his own reflection, he has to know he’s not a bad looking bloke. 

“I don’t need the complications,” Liam explains. “On Monday I go back to London and you’ll go back to wherever you come from. No strings.” 

Zayn nods in understanding. “Sounds easy.” 

“What I like.” Liam says and tilts his glass in Zayn’s direction. 

Zayn tilts his back and a silence falls over them that doesn’t leave until they have to. 

“I’m not staying here,” Liam explains, once he’s settled their bill. “Caroline said this was where we had to meet. I’m staying downtown at the Hilton. I could move my reservations here--” 

“It’s okay,” Zayn assures. “Ask reception to book us a car.” 

Liam nods and tucks his card back in to his wallet as he leaves Zayn to go and do as instructed. 

Zayn quickly pulls out his phone and lets Caroline (and Harry) know what hotel he’ll be spending the weekend at. There’s a lot of rules that come along with this job but on the top of Caroline’s list is the number one to keep her boys safe ‘Always let her know exactly where they are at any given time while on the job’. 

He makes sure to put his phone away when Liam walks back over, making sure he’s actually doing his job and giving Liam all his attention. 

Though the other lad seems unbothered and starts typing away on his own phone as the two of them wait for their car. 

He doesn’t stop, the entire ride downtown, he’s doing something on his phone. By the time they’re back in his suite (not a room a suite that is tripple the size of Zayn’s flat and has double the rooms) he’s got the phone pressed to his ear, having a very angry conversation with the person on the other end. 

He disappears off in to one room so Zayn settles himself in the other, flicking on the TV and removing his jacket. 

His eyes are dropping and he’s not sure how many friends re-runs he’s managed by the time Liam returns. 

There’s a pinch between the other lad’s eyebrows that wasn’t there before and his shoulders are sunk low and when he spots Zayn on the couch, he looks almost surprised. 

“Forget I was here?” Zayn wonders. 

Liam shakes his head and frowns. “You didn’t have to wait up for me.” 

“I wanted to.” Zayn replies like he’s supposed to when in reality, he wasn’t sure what bed he’s supposed to be sleeping in because his suitcase still sits beside him on the couch. 

Liam’s frown doesn’t move. “There’s two beds, you can take whichever one you want.” 

“Where do you want me to sleep?” Zayn asks. 

The frown falls and Liam’s eyebrows furrow for a moment like that sentence had caught him off guard. 

“I have clients who like companionship,” Zayn informs him. “I can sleep in your bed with you and not have sex with you, Liam.” 

“Right.” Liam says with a nod. 

He doesn’t say anything else as he removes his suit jacket and disappears in to one of the two bedrooms. 

Zayn drags his exhausted body from the couch and follows after him, removing his own clothes as he goes. 

Liam says nothing as they get ready for bed and continues to stay silent once they’re both in it (Zayn in his boxers and Liam in a t-shirt and pyjama bottoms). He’s completely rigid as he lays beside Zayn, if it wasn’t for his chest moving up and down now and again, then Zayn would be worried he’d dropped dead. 

“I can go in the other room if you’d like?” Zayn offers. 

Liam makes a noise of disapproval. “Go to sleep.” 

“Can we cuddle?” Zayn wonders, scooting closer as slowly as possible. 

“You want to?” Liam replies, his eyes staring at the ceiling and body still uncomfortably still. 

“Like this,” Zayn says softly and lifts one of Liam’s arms so he can scoot closer and curl up to his side. “Okay?” 

“Will you sleep now?” Liam wonders, his fingers tapping against Zayn’s back almost nervously. 

Zayn settles his head on Liam’s chest and can hear how fast his heart is beating.

"Hmm, this is nice." He says as he fans his hand out next to his head on Liam's chest. "Goodnight, Liam." 

"Goodnight." Liam replies, his hand stopping it's movement but the stiffness of his body not disappearing.

Zayn would worry he'd crossed a boundary that Caroline should have warned him about until he feels himself start to drift off to sleep and Liam's body finally starts to loosen up beneath him. 

He was sure the other lad had fallen asleep himself but there's a movement, that's so slow that Zayn questions if he's imagining it, until he feels soft callused fingers wrap around the wrist of the hand resting on Liam's chest. 

It’s not long before gentle snores start to escape the lad Zayn is using as his own personal pillow but for some reason, it takes him a lot longer for his mind to rest so he can fall asleep himself. 

*** 

When Zayn wakes up the next morning, he’s curled up among the sheets alone but when he sits up, he spots Liam sat at the end of the bed in nothing but a towel. There’s a food cart in front of him, that he’s pouring two cups of tea on. But Zayn can’t seem to focus because he’s distracted by the water dripping down the other lad’s very muscular back. 

“Fuck me.” Zayn mumbles, pulling Liam’s attention towards him. 

“I think that might break our contract.” Liam says as formal as ever and throws something at Zayn. “We’re going out tonight, you’ll need a suit.” 

“I own a suit.” Zayn replies as a he flips the credit card--that reads Liam’s name--between his fingers. 

Liam makes a noise of dismissal as he picks at the food lining the cart at the end of the bed. 

“I’m sure you do but this is an important event,” He informs Zayn. “I need you looking your best.” 

Zayn crawls down the bed and presses himself along Liam’s back so he can reach past him to grab a handful of grapes. 

“So, that’s tonight.” He starts. “What’s today?” 

Liam’s completely rigid beneath him, the same way he had been last night. “I have meetings.” 

“You do know you paid to have me for the entire weekend,” Zayn reminds him. “If you wanted me for the evenings, you could have paid for the evenings.” 

“I paid for the entire weekend.” Liam echoes. 

“Yeah.” Zayn says and drops back on to the bed, feeding himself some grapes. “Was saying it’d be cheaper and you wouldn’t have to worry about me hanging around your hotel room all day. A lot of blokes don’t like that idea.” 

“I want you to.” Liam admits, still not facing Zayn. 

“You want me to sit in your hotel room all day doing nothing?” 

“You don’t have to stay in the hotel,” Liam tells him, his bravado cracking for a moment. “You can go out but like come back.” 

“I’ll always come back to you, Liam.” Zayn says with a cheeky wink.

He climbs off the bed and heads in to the bathroom, pausing or a minute as he decides between the ridiculously overpriced waterfall shower or ridiculously overpriced marble bathtub. 

Zayn’s finally climbed in to the bath when Liam wanders in to the bathroom, now dressed in a full suit and attaching a watch to his wrist. 

 _“I’ve been thinkin’ ‘bout you, you, know, know, know.”_ He continues to sing, offering Liam a loose grin as he moves closer to the bath. 

“Frank Ocean,” Liam observes and nods in approval. “You’ve got good music taste.” 

“He one of yours?” Zayn wonders. 

Liam looks taken aback, like he wasn’t sure Zayn would know what he did for a living. 

“He, um, he used to be.” He replies, clearing his throat. “After my father passed, a lot of our artists who had contracts ending, didn’t want to renew them.” 

“Why?” Zayn asks, making a shape out of the bubbles now resting on his hand. 

Liam shrugs. “I was a kid, they didn’t think I could be trusted.” 

“I’d trust you.” Zayn assures him, blowing the bubbles in Liam’s direction. 

Liam makes a dramatic scene of dodging them and when he smiles, his eyes disappear. It’s so endearing that it makes a laugh pass through Zayn’s own lips. 

He steps forward and dips his hand in to the bubbles to flick some at Zayn. It doesn’t look natural, it looks like he’s calculated every movement he makes. But he offers Zayn a nervous smile and it feels like Zayn’s heart is beating out of his chest. 

“You should be going?” Zayn suggests, after they’d smiled at each other for a beat longer than necessary. 

“I should.” Liam agrees and steps back, straightens his shoulders. “If you want to leave, ask reception for a car, it’s all paid for.” 

“Sure.” Zayn agrees. 

Liam nods and bounces on his feet nervously. “Right, I’ll get going then.” 

“Liam?” Zayn asks, even though he’s yet to move. 

Liam hums, lifting his eyes off the floor to look at Zayn in the bathtub. 

“Will you tell me how old you are or should I google it?” 

“I’m twenty two,” Liam replies. “But your, um, Caroline said that you didn’t work with younger than twenty five or older than sixty five.” 

“Queen pimp.” Zayn corrects. 

“Excuse me?” Liam asks, lovely big eyebrows drawing together. 

Zayn shrugs his question off. “Caroline doesn’t like us to go with clients the same age as us, she worries it heightens the chance of romantic attachment. Older guys are more high risk, if someone has some kind of medical issue while we’re with them and they die, it wouldn’t be safe for us legally.” 

“I guess it’s a good thing we’re both in this for the same reasons then.” Liam decides. 

Zayn nods his head and sinks back down on to the water, loving the way that Liam’s eyes track to the movement. 

“So, I’ll see you in a few hours?” He asks. 

Liam nods a couple of times, coming back to himself. “Yes, yeah. I left one of my business cards next to the bed. If you need anything, let my assistant know.” 

“Will do.” Zayn agrees cheerily. 

Liam nods a few more times and finally turns on his foot, only to pause in the doorway. 

“Enjoy your day, Zayn.” He says with a such a softness to his voice, that it has Zayn’s heart beat pick up again. 

“I’ll be here waiting for you, Liam.” Zayn replies, reminding himself he’s here to do a job, he’s here to put on an act. 

Liam’s shoulders go rigid once again and he nods his head but doesn’t turn to look at Zayn again as he leaves the room. 

***

Zayn gets a car in to town and times it right to catch Harry walking Niall to work. 

“Get in loser we’re going shopping!” He calls, once the car has pulled up close enough to the two. 

“What are you doing?” Harry replies, after he’d finished dramatically jumping out of his skin. “I thought you were working.” 

“He had meetings all day,” Zayn informs him. “I’ve been sent shopping for a new suit. You know how much I hate shopping alone.” 

“Lin’s not gonna be happy.” Harry reminds him. 

Zayn leans his arms on the window of the car. “Do you care?” 

“Not a little bit.” Harry replies before moving towards the car. “Just thought I’d remind you that you might not see Monday.” 

“It was nice knowing you, Zayn.” Niall teases as he tugs his headphones from his pocket, ready to walk to work alone. 

“You too, Ni.” Zayn says and tips his fake hat to the other lad before moving away from the window so Harry can open the car door. 

“One offer of a shopping trip and I don’t even get a kiss goodbye’.” Niall grumbles in complaint. 

Harry moves away from the now open car door and basically devours his not boyfriend with his mouth. Zayn laughs and wolf whistles and matches his best friend's grin as he walks back over to the car. 

“How does he look?” Harry asks as he climbs in next to Zayn. 

“Like he’s gonna be hiding a boner all day thinking ‘bout it.” Zayn informs him. 

Harry shakes out his hair and rearranges it, looking very pleased with himself. “So, where shall we go?” 

“Where sells expensive suits?” Zayn wonders. 

“Mayfair, of course.” Harry replies and says it a little louder so the driver will know where to go. “So, what’s he like?” 

Zayn tugs out his phone and shows Harry [the picture ](http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/liam-payne-2015-us-open-tennis-01.jpg)he’d found of Liam on google. It was one of the more natural photos he’d found, where the other lad wasn’t done up to the nines looking business like. This had been taken at some kind of sporting event and Liam’s in a shirt and jeans, the lovely smile he’d given Zayn that morning, placed neatly on his lips. 

“Fuck!” Harry gasps as he pulls the phone closer to admire the photo. “He’s not bad, Zayn.” 

Zayn hums his agreement. 

“So, come on then.” Harry pushes. 

“What?” Zayn asks, pulling his phone back to himself. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Harry asks. “There has to be something. Remember that really fit tennis player you got that was really in to watersports.” 

Zayn scrunches up his nose at the memory and has made sure that Lin now knows that there are certain sexual things he definitely will not do, no matter how much someone is willing to offer. 

“So, what’s wrong with him?” Harry wonders. 

Zayn shrugs a little clueless. “He’s a bit uptight, I guess.” 

“That’s all you’ve got?” Harry complains. “What’s the point of your job if you don’t come back with juicy stories.” 

“I’ve only spent one night with him, H.” Zayn reminds him. 

“You only spent ten minutes with the tennis player.” Harry retorts. 

Zayn gives him a shove. “Stop reminding me.” 

“How is the sex?” Harry asks. 

“We haven’t had any,” Zayn replies. “I’m his ‘pretty thing’ for the weekend.” 

“That’s what is then,” Harry decides. “He’s got something wrong with his downstairs.” 

“Don’t be cruel, Harry.” Zayn scolds. 

“What guy looks like that and doesn’t want to fuck you?!” Harry exclaims. “You’re two hot people, it’s like the rules of humanity that you have to fuck.” 

Zayn shakes his head and laughs. “Sometimes I wonder how we’re friends.”

“Because you’d be dead without me.” Harry decides matter of fact. “Now, we need to think what suit we can get you that will make you look the most fuckable.”  

Zayn shakes his head again, wondering what he did in a past life to be blessed with this crazy boy. 

***

When Zayn first started in this field of work, he hated the idea of people buying things for him. Harry had always found it strange, that Zayn would happily allow a guy to fuck him for money but the moment the guy wanted to treat him like a doll (by feeding him and clothing him) is when he started to feel disgusted. 

He had to find a loop hole, to make sure the guys were never offended if he refused their offer to pay for things. The loop hole was the bank account Lin puts his pay in to after each client. He always tallied up how much had been spent on him and would deduct it from their final charge. He’s pretty sure Lin doesn’t deduct it from the actual charge but less money goes in to Zayn’s account so his conscious is clear. 

So, even though Liam’s credit card if burning a hole in his back pocket, he still pulls out his own, to pay for all the ridiculous things Harry thinks he needs to look the most presentable (fuckable). 

They’re heading out of the Tom Ford store, with his bank account now considerably lighter, when he checks his phone to find a ridiculous amount of missed calls from Caroline. 

“Told you she wouldn’t be happy.” Harry reminds him and then waves off Zayn’s apologetic look as he hands over the bags now lining his arm. “I’ll see you on Monday, yeah? If you actually make it to that day.” 

Zayn snorts and returns the one handed hug before pressing answer as Caroline’s face flashes up on his phone again. 

“Where the hell are you, Malik?!” She barks down the phone. 

Harry snorts and mouths ‘good luck’ to Zayn before turning on his foot to head down the street in the opposite direction to Zayn. 

“I’m shopping.” Zayn replies. 

“With Styles?!” Caroline says in a scolding tone. “I’ve had Liam on the phone, thinking you’ve run off with his credit card to go on a shopping spree with your boyfriend.” 

“He told me to go and buy a suit.” Zayn informs her as he climbs in to his awaiting car. “I went to buy a suit.” 

“How many times have I told you not to go near Styles while on a job,” Caroline reprimands. “He makes clients jealous, Zayn. It’s not at all professional. They want to imagine you’re theirs and when they see him, they’re reminded you’re not.” 

“How did Liam even know I was with Harry?” Zayn wonders. 

“I don’t know and I don’t particularly care,” Caroline replies. “You’re in the wrong here, Malik.” 

“Of course.” Zayn agrees. 

“I’ve had to reduce his price for this,” Caroline informs him. “It means your pay is reduced too.” 

“Of course.” Zayn repeats. 

“Go and suck up to him and hopefully we won’t lose him as a client all together.” Caroline instructs with a huff. 

“Yes, M’am.” Zayn replies because he knows it will piss her off. 

“You’re a pain in my arse, boy.” She tells him with another huff but this once sounds more fond. 

“You wish.” Zayn teases. “I’ll see you on Monday.” 

“You’ll be lucky if you make it.” She threatens. 

Zayn snorts, offers his goodbye and hangs up the phone before informing the driver to take him back to the hotel. 

***

Zayn’s not sure what he’s supposed to do or say when he gets back to Liam’s suite. So, he decides to pretend Lin’s phone call hadn’t happened and walks through the suite to hang up his suits in the wardrobe as he listens to Liam end his phone call in the other room. 

“Am I not the only one paying for your company this weekend?” Liam asks as he leans on the doorway to the bedroom. 

Zayn pauses what he’s doing to look over at him and his brain malfunctions for a moment because Liam looks rather attractive. He’s clearly been stressed--over the situation with Zayn or something to do with work--because his hair is messy like he hasn’t stopped running his fingers through it and he’s void of his suit jacket with his shirt unbuttoned down to his sternum like it had been restricting the air flow. He pulls off the dishevelled look really well and it’s more than a little distracting. 

“Not everyone I communicate on a day to day pays for my company, Mr Payne.” Zayn replies when he finally manages to redeem himself. 

“Who was he?” Liam asks. 

“You’re paying for my time not my personal information, Liam.” Zayn reminds him. “I apologise for spending the time you’re paying for in the presence of someone else but as I said this morning, if you only wish to spend evenings with me then you should pay for only evenings.” 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Liam wonders, stepping further in to the room. 

“It’s none of your business.” Zayn tells him, closing the wardrobe door on the brand new suits. 

“I checked my account,” Liam starts as he walks closer to Zayn. “You didn’t even buy those suits on my card.” 

Zayn reaches in to his back pocket and hands the card to Liam. “I’m an escort that doesn’t mean I’m a criminal.” 

“I wanted to buy the suits for you.” Liam argues. 

“I’m not fond of people buying things for me,” Zayn explains. “If that bothers you then I can pretend but if you don’t mind, I’d prefer to pay my own way.” 

“I thought it would be a perk of the job.” Liam says looking curious. 

Zayn shrugs because he doesn’t want to admit to Liam that there isn’t perks to this job. He’ll have the odd person that he can have a nice intellectual conversation with him. But when there time is up, he goes back to his flat to paint and they usually go back to their wives and families, leaving him to feel like exactly what he is, a high class hooker. 

“There’s no perks.” Liam says like he’s reading Zayn’s mind. “Can I ask you something?” 

“You can but it doesn’t mean I have to answer.” Zayn replies and they’re toe to toe now. 

“Why do you do it?” Liam asks. 

Zayn offers him a smile and undoes the last few buttons on Liam’s shirt. His breath catches slightly when it’s revealed exactly what Liam had been hiding under those pristine suits. A lovely set of abs, tone and tanned, it’s a body that’s clearly well taken care of that Zayn rarely gets to see in his profession. 

For a moment, he’s so caught up on how attracted he is to this guy that he forgets he’s got a job to do and for once this isn’t part of it. It’s not until Liam’s breath hitches as Zayn’s fingers begin to travel south, that he’s brought back to reality and he quickly removes his hands. 

“Um, we should, um, get ready to go out.” Liam decides as he avoids making eye contact with Zayn. “You can, uh, take the first shower.” 

“Thank you.” Zayn says quietly and bypasses him to head across the bedroom and in to the bathroom. 

***

Zayn likes a big reveal. Usually if his clients have booked him for some kind of event, then Harry is in charge of dolling him up. But considering Liam has booked him for the weekend and seems to take unkindly to outsiders communicating with Zayn, he’s had to take it in to his hands. His hair isn’t quite as good as Harry can make it and there’s zero makeup on his face. But the Tom Ford suit hugs him in all the right places so he hopes it will be enough. 

Apparently it is because when he reveals himself from the bedroom to where Liam waits in the living area, he gets the appreciative up and down that he was aiming for. 

“Fuck,” Liam says under his breath and then a little louder. “You’re worth every penny, aren’t you?” 

“I like to think so.” Zayn says a little cocky.  

Liam snorts and gets up from the couch to walk over to Zayn. “I don’t think anyone will even notice me, if you’re standing next to me.” 

“I think you need to look in more mirrors.” Zayn tells him as he reaches out to adjust Liam’s tie, it’s straight but he wants to touch him in some way. 

“I don’t pay you to compliment me, Zayn.” Liam replies, eyes watching every movement. 

“If you weren’t paying me then I’d probably be chatting you up,” Zayn admits as he moves his hand to push back to small piece that had fallen from Liam’s perfect quiff. “I’d do a poor job but I’d definitely try.” 

“You’re trying too hard right now.” Liam informs him and moves away from Zayn’s touch. “Are we ready to go?” 

“I am if you are.” Zayn replies and tucks his fidgeting hands in to the pockets of his trousers. 

Liam wanders around the apartment, collecting the things he needs for the night and when he’s done, he gestures to the door with his hand. 

Zayn leads the way out, pausing when he reaches the lift that leads to Liam’s ridiculous penthouse suite. 

“So, where are we going?” He asks as they wait for the lift to come. 

“One of our artists has a clothing line coming out, it’s the release party tonight.” Liam answers and hands him one of the two cards in his hand. “Your invitation.” 

“You manage Kanye West?” Zayn asks shocked. 

“I own one the labels he’s signed to.” Liam corrects, his hand going to the small of Zayn’s back to lead him on the lift. 

“That’s mad,” Zayn decides. “So, like do yo have to pretend to like the clothes?” 

“The shoes are stylish and comfy.” Liam says with a slight tilt of his lips, the line clearly rehearsed. 

Zayn lets a grin fall on his lips, which allows Liam to allow the one he was holding back, to release on to his own. 

The lift is empty when they get on but as it travels down through the hotel, more people get on. By the time they reach the bottom floor, they’re pressed to the back, not one part of their bodies not touching. Zayn’s never been as aware of someone’s body as close to his as he is of Liam’s in this lift. 

He’s almost disappointed when it reaches the ground floor. Though an ounce of happiness runs through him when Liam’s hand stays on his lower back, to guide him out. They’re playing a part, he knows they are but he thinks he owes himself a little indulgence. 

“Good evening, Thomas.” Liam greets as the driver--that had catered Zayn round all day--as he holds open the back door of his car. 

“Mr Payne,” Thomas greets with a nod. “Mr Malik.” 

“Thomas.” Zayn replies with a thankful smile as Liam guides him to climb in to the car first. 

He waits for Liam to climb in after him before he turns to the other lad with a knowing grin. 

“What?” Liam asks curiously. 

“You set me up.” Zayn informs him. 

“What?” Liam repeats, the same confused crease he’s seemed to have since meeting Zayn, now settled between his eyebrows. 

“You kept tabs on me when I went shopping for the suit,” Zayn explains. “You had your driver keep tabs on me, to see if I’d take the money and run.” 

“I think you believe me to be a smarter man than I am, Mr Malik.” Liam says but there’s something in his expression that lets Zayn know he’s right. 

“I earn my money,” Zayn tells him. “It’s not the most conventional way but I do. I would never take what isn’t mine, if you even thought I would for a moment then Caroline clearly didn’t sell me right.” 

Liam winces at the way he worded the sentence. “I’m sorry I thought the worst, it wasn’t right of me.” 

Zayn nods thankfully and turns his attention out the window, watching the London nightlife pass by as they drive. 

Neither of them speak for the forty minutes it takes for them to arrive at the venue where the party is being held. 

“I’ll let you out, Mr Payne.” Thomas says and reaches for his own door. 

“A second, please.” Liam pleads quickly, rubbing his palms against the material of his trousers roughly. 

“Liam?” Zayn checks. “It’s okay if you’re not ready, you don’t owe them anything.” 

“I owe myself.” Liam says quietly. 

Zayn reaches over to squeeze at the back of Liam’s neck. “Let me lead, yeah? I’m not good for much but I know how to really work places like this.” 

“Okay.” Liam agrees in one long breath. 

“Okay,” Zayn echoes and gives Liam’s neck one last squeeze. “Get out and go round to get the door for me, yeah?” 

“Okay.” Liam repeats and reaches to un-clip his seat-belt. 

It takes another second a few deep breathes before he climbs out of the car. But when he appears on the other side, opening the door for Zayn, he’s straightened his shoulders and pushed a cocky smirk to his lips.

“Perfect.” Zayn whispers just for him and takes the hand Liam offers him, to be helped out of the car.  

Liam’s not that famous enough that there are a gaggle of camera’s in their face, the moment they’ve both left their car. But his name seems to be known, a few people calling it from behind barriers as they walk towards the venue. 

“Put your hand more on my waist.” Zayn instructs quietly. 

Liam moves his hand from where it was hovering by Zayn’s back to curl around his hip and Zayn smiles satisfied. 

A few more people call their name and then a young woman is jumping out in front of them. She instructs them in the direction of the red carpet and Liam easily guides Zayn that way, clearly used to random people at events telling him what to do and where to go. 

“How do we stand?” Liam asks as they wait at the edge of the carpet to be called on. 

“What makes you feel more comfortable?” Zayn replies, covering Liam’s hand on is waist for show more than anything. 

Liam glances down at where their hands are touching. “This seems good.” 

“Okay.” Zayn agrees but when he rubs his thumb across Liam’s index finger, it’s not for show and he knows that’s dangerous territory.

“Ready?” The woman asks, looking five seconds from a mental breakdown. 

Liam takes Zayn’s free hand at his own accord and leads him on to the carpet. The burst of confidence he has seems to quickly disappear as they stand in front of the cameras, all the journalists calling out questions to get a reaction. 

So Zayn takes his hand back to slip it around Liam’s back which makes the other lad automatically rest his back on Zayn’s waist. They do that pose for a few photos and then move along a bit. This time Zayn turns his body towards Liam, fanning his hand out on Liam’s chest. He poses the way knows will make him look his best and make Liam look equally as good. 

They’re nearing the edge of the carpet when Zayn gets bored of how rigid Liam feels next to him. 

“You got something in your teeth?” Zayn asks. 

Liam takes a second but looks down at him confused. 

“There must be a reason you’re not smiling when the hottest guy on the planet is your date for the night.” Zayn informs him, offering a loose grin. 

“It’s a good thing you’re in the field you’re in,” Liam replies, his lips tugging up slightly. “Not sure that ego would fit anywhere else.” 

“I do what I do best.” Zayn tells him and offers him a wink. 

Liam’s staring at him then, the smile from this morning now on his lips and Zayn’s heart speeds up again. 

It doesn’t settle until someone’s calling for them to move and Liam quickly pulls his gaze away. 

Zayn moves away from his side so they can walk off but he slips his hand in to Liam’s, their fingers interlocking. He watches as Liam pauses and makes a point of looking at their hands. He’s worried there’s another boundary he’s crossed but Liam only separates their hands and then re-links them so he can be the one leading. 

A couple of people stare as they make their way inside and it makes Zayn proud. He knows what he looks like, he’s seen his own face. But he’s also seen Liam’s and together it must be a picture. Zayn’s never felt lucky to be on a guy’s arm before but there’s a first for everything. 

“Do you want a drink?” Liam asks as he leads them towards the bar. 

“Please.” Zayn replies, taking in the people currently filling out the room. There are no faces he knows, which is good. He can play up his part more if he’s sure no one can stand there and call him out. 

“Jack Daniels on ice,” Liam requests from the barman and then he follows Zayn’s gaze around the room, his eyes clearly spotting people he knows. “Make that two.” 

Zayn pulls his hand from Liam’s to simply stand beside him. “So, how do you want to do tonight?” 

“What is there to do?” Liam asks confused. 

“Well, we could hype it up and make the hetro couples feel really uncomfortable.” Zayn explains, moving to lean his back against the bar so he can take in the room. “Or we could be subtle but still make a point.” 

“I don’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.” Liam decides. 

“Okay.” Zayn agrees and turns around to smile thankfully at the barman as he sets their drinks down on the bar. 

“I like your suit, man.” The barman compliments. 

“Thanks,” Zayn replies and makes a point of rubbing a hand across Liam’s chest. “Always good when your man spoils you, right?” 

The barman nods and looks to Liam. “You’ve very lucky.” 

“T-thank you.” Liam stumbles. 

The barman takes one long indulgent look at Zayn before moving down the bar to serve someone else. 

“I don’t think he was complimenting your suit.” Liam tells Zayn.

“I’m enjoyable to look at, Liam.” Zayn reminds him and then leans in closer for only Liam to hear. “It’s why they pay me the big bucks.” 

Liam audibly gulps and Zayn feels a little proud. 

“There’s someone walking towards us.” Zayn says when he spots two older guys making their way over. 

“Who?” Liam asks, going rigid once more. 

“Two men,” Zayn explains, voice softer now because they’re getting closer. “A lot older.” 

“Fuck.” Liam mutters and his fingers that Zayn hadn’t even realised were near his back, are now twisted in his jacket. 

“Payne!” 

Liam turns around slowly and puts on a smile that’s clearly means business. 

“Tony,” He greets with a nod. “Mr Simmons.” 

Both men’s eyes linger on Zayn but it’s not in attraction so he straightens his own shoulders. 

“Who’s your friend?” Tony wonders. 

“Zayn,” Liam introduces. “Zayn, this is Tony and Mr Simmons, he created the label with my farther.” 

“So, you’re Liam’s..” Mr Simmons starts and leaves the sentence open for Zayn to fill in. 

“Whore.” Zayn says with a straight face, making the two men and Liam go wide eyed before he lets out a laugh. “I’m joking, I’m his date.” 

“So, what do you do for a living?” Tony asks. 

“I’m not sure it’s appropriate to come over and interrogate my date, Tony.” Liam says with gritted teeth. 

His distaste for the man is clear so Zayn knows exactly what he needs to do. 

“I’m an artist,” He explains, turning himself in to Liam’s side and reaching out to fiddle with his top of his button. “It’s not good money but Liam takes good care of me. Right, babe?” 

Liam looks down at him and Zayn mouths ‘breathe’ so he does, let’s out one long breath with a wobbly smile. 

“Right.” 

“So, you are a whore?” Tony asks with a snort. 

Liam snarls but Zayn holds his gaze and keeps smiling, while undoing the button so he can slips his hand under Liam’s shirt. He doesn’t answer the question, he doesn’t think a vile human like Tony deserves either of their time. 

“You think this is appropriate?” Mr Simmons growls. “You think this would make your father proud?” 

Liam’s eyes move away from Zayn and over to the older man. “You don’t get to decide what would make my father proud.” 

“He was my best friend, I had a good idea.” Mr Simmons retorts. “I know he wouldn’t be proud to have a fag for a son.” 

“Of course he’d be proud of a best friend who shames one of his most important creations, for something he can’t control.” Zayn spits back. “If he wasn’t proud of who Liam was, he wouldn’t have entrusted an entire company to him. You must not have children if you don’t know that a parents love can overcome a lot of things, even things they don’t understand.” 

Mr Simmons jaw clenches and he glares at Zayn before flicking his eyes to Liam. “You’ll be the downfall of this company and I hope I’m dead before it happens.” 

“I think a lot of people are hoping your dead before the end of this party, mate.” Zayn says with a curl of his lip. 

Liam pinches his hip in disapproval at that one. 

No more words are exchanged as the two older man scoff and walk away. 

“That was beautiful to watch.” The barman croons. “Two on the house.” 

Zayn offers him a grin over Liam’s arm and then turns his attention to the man he’s still attached to. 

“This might have been a bad decision.” Liam says as he removes Zayn’s hand from inside his shirt. 

“Some old homophobic guy says some shit and you’re out?” Zayn asks. 

“He’s my business partner, Zayn.” Liam replies, almost seething. “He’s not some old guy.” 

“I thought you wanted to shove it in their faces?” 

“That doesn’t mean you insult the only guy who has the possibility of pushing me out of my father’s business.” Liam cries. “It was supposed to be in their face but I didn’t want to put out a fucking announcement. I wanted to be brave enough to be able to be who I am, so when I bring a person I love to something like this, they don’t get run away because I can’t stand up to those pricks.” 

Zayn wants to tell him that his speech is a mess of contradictions but for some reason he’s stuck on  _‘when I bring the person I love’_   and why it makes him feel like more of a whore than when guys leave him in sheets covered in cum, with nothing but a  _‘thanks for that’._  

“Alright.” He says softly. “Shut up and look pretty, got it.” 

“Zayn,” Liam starts but Zayn shrugs off the hand he puts on his arms. 

“I’m going to the gents to make sure no hair is out of place.” Zayn decides and walks away before Liam can say anything else. 

He faintly here’s the barman tell Liam he fucked up before he disappears in to the crowd.

***

Zayn stays in the gents for longer than he probably should. He tells himself he’s here to a job and whatever way his heart is reacting to Liam doesn’t matter. He needs to do his job, get paid and go back to doing something he truly loves and to an apartment that contains at least one person who loves him for him. 

“Zayn?” 

Zayn freezes on the spot when he hears the way his name runs off a familiar tongue. 

“It is you.” 


	2. Chapter 2

Zayn stays in the gents for longer than he probably should. He tells himself he’s here to a job and whatever way his heart is reacting to Liam doesn’t matter. He needs to do his job, get paid and go back to doing something he truly loves and to an apartment that contains at least one person who loves him for him.

“Zayn?”

Zayn freezes on the spot when he hears the way his name runs off a familiar tongue.

“It is you.”

Zayn doesn’t turn around, he lets the person come to him and sure enough Louis Tomlinson comes in to view. 

“You look,” Louis starts and swallows every inch of Zayn with his eyes. “Fuck, you look as good as the day I let you go.” 

The words prick at Zayn’s skin and he tries to push that memory down. He straightens his shoulders and as he does, he gives himself the slight height he has over Louis. It doesn’t work because Louis might be small but there’s a power in him, one look from him and Zayn feels like the broken seventeen year old who didn’t quite understand the job he was supposed to do. 

“Are you here on a job?” Louis asks and then looks around, probably trying to find Zayn’s client. 

Zayn lets his own eyes take in Louis as he does. He’s aged a bit in the few years they’d been apart. The familiar pixie haircut now styled back in to a mature quiff and the band shirts and ripped jeans exchanged for a plain white t-shirt tucked under a suit jacket and trousers. The only familiar thing is the black vans on Louis’ feet and Zayn know that’s his rebellion, that’s him not allowing this lifestyle completely consume him.

He can feel the familiar tug of his heart, the bits of Louis he’d fell in love with all those years ago, making an unwanted return. 

“Please tell me it’s not the old guy in wheelchair?” Louis jokes, finally looking back at Zayn. “That’s got to be too mature, even for you.” 

“I’m not on a job.” Zayn says before he can stop himself. 

“Oh,” Louis replies with raised eyebrows. “Are you here alone?” 

“No.” Zayn answers simply. 

Louis draws his eyebrows together more quizzical. “Who are you here with then?” 

“A date,” Zayn tells him. “Just because I’m an Escort doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to have normal dates, Louis.” 

“Of course you are,” Louis agrees. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed.” 

Zayn nods and tries to keep his shoulders straight. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have.” 

“You don’t change,” Louis says and lets a small smile fall on his lips. “Come on then, let’s see the guy that’s allowed to take Zayn Malik out on a date?” 

Zayn involuntarily lets eyes scan around the room until they land on Liam, who happens to be walking right towards them. 

“Tommo!” Liam greets cheerily as he reaches them. “Alright, mate?” 

“Alright, Payno.” Louis replies and his eyes flicker between him and Zayn. 

“He telling you how awful I am?” Liam wonders. “I told you I wouldn’t be very good at this.” 

“You know each other?” Zayn questions. 

“We’ve known each other for years,” Liam explains. “Met when Lou was still signed to Manchester, right?” 

“Right.” Louis agrees but his guilty eyes are refusing to meet Zayn’s. 

“My dad has a box at Twickenham,” Liam continues, still oblivious to what's between the two lads. “He introduced us after a match. Lou hated me at first, thought I was a right uptight rich arsehole.” 

“I didn’t hate you.” Louis disagrees but he’s not looking at Liam, his eyes are very concentrated on Zayn. “We’re different people, that’s all.” 

The words sound so familiar that Zayn’s shoulders finally sink and he reverts back to the seventeen year old, sat naked in hotel bed, pleading with his first ever love not to leave him. 

“Lou was actually the one who gave me your number or well Caroline’s number to get to you.” Liam says and if Zayn hadn’t already put the pieces together, there it was. 

“Why did you let me lie?” Zayn barks at Louis, letting his embarrassment fuel in to anger. 

Louis shrugs and bows his head slightly. “I owe you that much.” 

“You owe me jack shit.” Zayn spits at him. “I wasn’t yours to save then and I’m not yours to save now.”  

He walks away before Louis can say anything else and there’s a blur of faces that he bumps in to, with his desperation to get to fresh air. He ends up breaking through a fire exit door, his fingers itching for a cigarette. 

He’s not allowed to smoke on the job, it’s one of Caroline’s many rules. But he thinks ‘fuck her’ because he knows she would have known about this. He should have known when he found out about Liam’s age, that something wasn’t quite right. She doesn’t ever let shit like that pass, she’s thorough with her background searches with any of the men her boys go with. 

It takes him three attempts to be able to light his cigarette with shaky hands but once it’s done and he’s taken a painfully long drag, he pulls his phone from his jacket pocket. 

He thinks about calling Caroline, about screaming at her and demanding why she would let him be put in this situation. But he likes money and as much as he hates to admit it, he quite enjoys his job. He knows calling her while he’s still angry isn’t a good idea so he dials another familiar number instead. 

“Zayn?” Harry answers panicked. “Babe, what’s happened? Is everything okay?” 

“Can you come pick me up?” Zayn asks. 

“What’s--Ni, get off a minute--What’s happened?” Harry asks, he’s panting slightly where he’d clearly been busy with something else before he’d decided to answer Zayn’s call. 

“Never mind, I’ll get a taxi.” Zayn decides, not wanting to ruin his friend’s night. 

“No, no, I’ll come get you.” Harry promises. “Where are you?” 

“It’s okay, H.” Zayn tries. 

Harry is quiet for a minute. “Okay, the tracker on your phone says you’re at the tate. Is that right?” 

“If you weren’t you I would be worried why you have a tracker for my phone.” Zayn says with a pained laugh. 

“Oh, babe.” Harry says, obviously noticing something was really wrong from that. “We’ll be there in about half an hour. Will you be okay until then?” 

“Yeah,” Zayn assures him as he flicks away the butt of his cigarette. “I’ll walk a bit away from the building ‘cause it’ll be impossible for you to get a car in.” 

“Keep safe, okay?” Harry pleads. “I’ll get Ni to ring you when we’re close and you let us know where you are.” 

“Okay.” Zayn agrees. 

“Are you okay?” Harry checks. “I don’t mind picking you up but you’ve got to like, you need to warn me if you’re not okay, Z?” 

“I’m okay,” Zayn assures him. “Physically I’m okay.” 

“What did he do to you mentally?” Harry worries. “Do I need to send Big John round to give a talking to?” 

Big John works with Harry at a shitty cafe in central London. He’s a big tall fellow who looks like someone you wouldn’t want to meet on a dark night when in reality, he’s softer than any bloke Zayn knows. His name is Albie but he got the nickname ‘Big John’ due to his resemblance to John Coffeey from The Green Mile. 

“I’m okay,” Zayn repeats. “Just come and get me, yeah?” 

“On our way.” Harry tells him and then has a mini spat with Niall away from the phone so Zayn hangs up. 

Zayn smokes his way through one more cigarette before he heads back inside. It turns out the show had managed to begin while he had been outside. It’s pitch black, only small almost tea lights leading the path towards the main show is taking place. 

He makes a bloody scene trying to find his way through the darkness and he gets scolded by quite a few people before a member of security grabs his arm. 

As he’s dragged out he catches sight of Liam sat front row of the show, he’s beside Louis but there’s also an empty seat on his other side and a solemn look on his face. A flash of guilt runs through Zayn because it’s not Liam’s fault that the escort his friend had suggested to him just so happened to have a past with said friend. 

Security all but throw him out the door and Zayn snorts to himself as he ads ‘Kanye West attempt at a fashion show’ to the list of places he’d managed to get himself thrown out of. 

He gets all the way to the main square before Niall rings him and he waits where he is for his friend’s vintage ford capri to appear. 

“Alright, mate.” Niall greets as he climbs out of the passenger seat to let Zayn in the back. 

Harry is stretched over from the driving seat, moving all the junk on the back seat to one side so Zayn can climb in. He offers his friend a sympathetic mixed with an apologetic smile when he’s finally done. 

“So, what happened?” Harry asks as he pulls the car away from the curb. 

“I thought we agreed we were going to let him tell you.” Niall argues. 

“Zayn doesn’t tell anyone anything,” Harry retorts. “Not unless you drag it out of him.” 

“No wonder, with your big mouth.” Niall replies. “I bet he worries which part of the world will know by the next day if he tells you.” 

“You’ll be lucky if you get my big mouth again if you carry on.” Harry snaps back. 

“Louis was there.” Zayn blurts before their argument can get too far. “Liam knew him.” 

“Who’s Louis?” Niall mouths to Harry. 

Harry glances in the rear view and Zayn nods that it’s okay. “Louis was one of Z’s first clients. He’s why Lin put in the ‘no guys their own age’ rule. He proper fucked up our boy.” 

Which is why he was also the one responsible for Zayn’s one and only golden rule: ‘Don’t Get Attached’. 

“Shit.” Niall says under his breath. “I didn’t think there was a single sod on this earth that could fuck Z over.” 

“He’s not made of iron, Niall.” Harry scolds and takes his hand off the gear stick to slap his not boyfriend on the arm. “He can also hear you.” 

Niall turns in his seat to look at Zayn, this lovely blush to his pale cheeks. “Sorry, man.” 

“So, did Liam know about your past with Louis?” Harry wonders before Zayn can reply to Niall. 

“I don’t know,” Zayn replies, turning his gaze out the window. “I don’t care.” 

“Fuck, he must have proper fucked you over if you are willing to give that up.” Niall admits. “H showed me some pics of him, he’s the first good looking lad you’ve had in a while.” 

“I told you he wasn’t sleeping with him.” Harry says before he can get a scolding from Zayn. 

“I know but to have something nice to look at for a weekend,” Niall explains. “After some of the old dicks you’ve had to suck, it must be a nice change, right?” 

“Sometimes I wonder why we’re not together,” Harry starts as they pull up to a red light. “Then you open your mouth.” 

“You wonder why we’re not together?” Niall asks, clearly stuck on the first part of the sentence. 

Zayn catches sight of the Hilton hotel sign as the light changes to green. “Stop!” 

“It’s green.” Harry argues. 

“Let me out.” Zayn demands, tapping the shoulder of Niall’s seat in irritation. 

“We’re at a traffic light.” Niall argues. 

“Let me out.” Zayn says more pleading. 

“Let him out,” Harry echoes. “Fuck the cars behind.” 

Niall huffs but shucks off his belt so he can climb out of the car to let Zayn out. 

“I’ll call you.” Zayn tells Harry as he goes to climb out, only to pause to pull out his wallet. 

“If you hand me any money I’ll turn our art room in to the study I’ve always wanted.” Harry threatens. 

Zayn offers him a slight grin and tucks his wallet back in his pocket. “You’re the best, really.” 

“I know.” Harry beams. “Go and save your job, yeah? Try not to give Tommo a bloody nose this time.” 

“Tommo?” Niall asks as Zayn climbs out. “Like ‘The Tommo’? England’s best mid fielder?” 

“Yeah.” Zayn says quietly. 

“Fuck, the things you learn.” Niall says and reaches out to squeeze Zayn’s arm. “Try and get ya dick sucked by those pretty lips, yeah? I think you owe it to us and yourself.” 

Zayn shakes his head and finds it hard not to smile. “Idiots, the pair of you.” 

“Only ones you’ve got.” Harry shouts from inside the car. 

“Dickheads!” The guy screams from the car behind them as he overtakes and zooms off. 

“Some people are so impolite.” Harry scoffs. 

Zayn glances back at him and the smile Niall had pushed to his lips, is now permanently glued there. 

“Bugger off.” Harry tells him, with his own loose grin. 

Niall climbs back in to the car and offers his own grin through the window of the car once he’s closed the door. Harry beeps and they drive off and Zayn is left to receive all the middle fingers and curse words from the cars behind, as he waits for them to pass before he can cross to get to the pavement. 

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say when he see’s Liam again so he’s glad really, when the girl behind reception informs him that Liam was yet to return to the hotel. He lets her know he’ll be in the bar and requests she inform Liam when he does eventually return to the hotel. 

He’s managed to work his way through three Jack Daniels on ice by the time Liam does return. It’s only when he notices that Liam’s not alone that he realises the alcohol might have been a bad idea. 

He gestures the waiter over so he can settle his bill and as he does, his eyes meet familiar blue ones. 

“I think I might scratch that nightcap actually, Li.” Louis says loud enough for Zayn to hear and overpowering the girl on reception who is trying to catch Liam’s attention, probably to inform him that Zayn is in the bar. 

Liam replies something but Zayn gets distracted by the waiter asking for his credit card. When he looks back over, it’s to find the spot where the two lads were stood now empty. 

“Good evening, Mr Malik.” The waiter tells him with an almost flirty smile. 

Zayn offers him is own version of a professional smile, followed by a wink that has the young boy stumble slightly as he backs away, like he can’t pull his eyes away from Zayn. 

It boosts his confidence a little and so when he leaves the bar and the girl on reception informs him that Liam had gone up to their room, he’s got a slight swagger to his walk as he heads for the lift. 

He doesn’t know what he’s going to say when Liam opens the hotel door. He tries to think of something all the way up in the lift but can’t come up with anything. He decides to go with instinct, it’s never failed him before.

Liam opens the door with his shirt undone and hair ruffled--the same it had been while he was reprimanding Zayn for shopping with Harry--and the instinct for Zayn is to push in to his space and kiss him. 

It’s a slightly awkward kiss because Liam’s lips are parted to say Zayn’s name. But Zayn powers through and presses himself more against Liam, causing the other lad to back in to the room. 

Liam’s fingers slip in to the back of Zayn’s hair and he tugs, making Zayn groan but eventually pull back. There’s a question in his eyes and on his lips but Zayn doesn’t let him voice it. He moves the hand now resting on Liam’s chest to trail his fingers down until they reach the trail of hair that leads beneath his trousers. 

Liam’s breath hitches and Zayn feels a little proud. He tugs his head forward, to find the other lad’s fingers are no longer tangled in his hair but loosely threaded through it. He leans his head down to press open mouth kisses to Liam’s chest and as he does, he feels Liam reach past him to push the door closes. 

Zayn tries to drop to his knees as his fingers reach for Liam’s belt but Liam doesn’t let him. Instead he threads his fingers back through Zayn’s hair and drags him back to stand at the same height. 

Harry once asked Zayn if one of Lin’s rules was ‘no kissing’ and Zayn kindly informed him that his life is and never will be like ‘Pretty Woman’. The truth is Zayn loved kissing, he thinks you can tell a lot about a person from the way they kiss. 

Liam kisses start of soft and unsure but Zayn pushes him, needing him to kiss like he wants to. So he pokes his tongue out and traces it along Liam’s bottom lip and it’s like a switch is flicked and Liam instantly takes control. 

Zayn has different clients, with different needs. But he can round them all up in to two categories. The ones there to get themselves off and the ones who take pleasure in getting him off. Liam confuses him because he kisses Zayn like he wants to drown in him but he touches him like he needs Zayn to be the one to drown in him. He’s a complication of everything Zayn has taught himself and for the first time in his life, Zayn doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do. 

So, he doesn’t do anything. He tells himself that he’s doing this for himself and if Caroline wants to charge Liam then he’ll pay for the fee because for once in his life, he’s going to enjoy sex for what it should be, his own personal pleasure. 

Liam strips Zayn of his jacket and then walks them back a little until Zayn’s back hits the door. 

“Wrap your legs around me.” Liam instructs, not parting his lips from Zayn’s as his hands find Zayn’s bum ready to support him. 

Zayn kicks off his shoes and then does as he’s told and jumps up to hook his legs around Liam’s hips, his feet locked underneath his bum. The suit trousers he’s wearing tighten even more on his thighs and on his arse, making Liam hum in approval. 

They kiss until they’re both desperately grinding against one another and it actually feels painful for Zayn, where his dick is trapped in the tightness of the trousers. 

“Fuck.” He breathes in relief when Liam uses the wall to support him so he can reach between them to undo Zayn’s trousers. 

“You’ve got too many fucking clothes on.” Liam complains when he gets his hand under the turtle neck Zayn’s wearing to find another t-shirt underneath it. 

“Looking good comes with a price.” Zayn says as he nips at Liam’s bare collarbone.

“Literally.” Liam replies but when Zayn lifts his head, it’s to find amusement flickering between his eyes.

Zayn cups the back of Liam’s neck and leans down to rest their foreheads together. Liam leans forward to trap Zayn’s bottom lip between his own and grins as he lets it go. Zayn mirrors that grin and then they’re back to it, kissing like they’re desperate and the world is about to separate them at any moment. 

Liam eventually parts them so he can carry Zayn to the bedroom and Zayn makes sure to distract him in anyway possible and almost gets dropped on the floor when he finds Liam’s sweet spot and the younger boy stumbles over nothing as the pleasure runs through him.  

Liam drops him on to the bed and Zayn grins when he bounces, making grabby hands for the other lad. Liam removes his shirt altogether and kicks off his own shoes before he steps towards Zayn’s needy hands. 

Zayn swallows him with his eyes--the way other people had been doing to him all night--and hums in approval.

“You’ll do.” He decides, echoing the first words Liam had said to him. 

Liam grins at him and Zayn knows he could get himself off from looking at this beautiful specimen of a man. Liam reaches down to curl his fingers around the turtle neck and shirt and Zayn complies by lifting his arms so Liam can pull it off him. 

“You’re covered.” Liam observes, eyes taking in the tattoos that cover ever inch of Zayn’s body. 

“Yeah,” Zayn replies and looks down at himself. “They kind of make me a hard sell sometimes.” 

Caroline had scolded the hell out of him when he’d got the first. His grandfather had died and his father didn’t tell him until the funeral was done with and his family had already mourned. He didn’t get a chance to say goodbye, to the only person in his life who he ever felt understood him. He’d completely destroyed the tiny bedsit he was living in at the time and then he’d rebelled, he’d gone to the nearest tattoo shop and that was where he’d met Harry. The younger lad had been getting a ship tattooed on to his arm at the time, to go along with the rest of his ridiculous collection. Now Zayn had a best friend and his own ridiculous collection and a boss who he has to send up to date naked photos to any time he gets a tattoo so any clients know what they’re letting themselves in for. 

“I like them.” Liam decides and nudges Zayn’s legs apart with his own knee so he can reach forward to trace the words on Zayn’s collarbone. “What does it say?” 

“Be true to who you are.” Zayn replies honestly.

If it was anyone else he’d give the usual bullshit about it saying ‘live life to the fullest’ but there’s something about Liam, that makes forming any lie really hard. He thinks it’s because for once he’s not selling himself, he can walk away from this at any moment and no one can reprimand him for it, he’s here because of his own need. 

Liam lifts his arm to show Zayn his own tattoo that reads ‘Everything I wanted but nothing I’ll ever need’. “Got it after my dad died.” 

“Guess we’re both fed of playing a part.” Zayn decides, looking up Liam. 

Liam’s brown eyes meet his and something flickers in them that Zayn can’t quite work out. Liam doesn’t give him chance to voice his question because he’s leaning down to reattach their lips. 

Zayn crawls back on the bed and smiles in to the kiss when Liam easily follows, like a magnet unable to let go. He traces Liam’s back with his fingers and is unable to stop the groan from passing his lips as the muscles rippled beneath them. 

Liam pulls back after a few seconds and cups Zayn’s cheeks with his hand while frowning. 

“I don’t have any condoms.” He admits. 

“I do,” Zayn replies and moves his fingers to trace Liam’s bulging bicep where he’s using his free hand to support himself. “In my wallet, it’s in the pocket of my jacket.” 

“I’m going?” Liam wonders, his lips tugging up slightly in amusement. 

“You’re younger than me,” Zayn reminds him. “And I kind of want to see the view from behind.” 

“You might be disappointed.” Liam tells him but climbs off the bed anyway. 

Zayn smiles when he glances back as he heads towards the door and Liam returns a filthy grin. Zayn doesn’t understand until he hears the snap of a belt buckle and it’s like a flash for Liam’s trousers and boxers to pool at his feet. He doesn’t give Zayn a chance to admire the view though because as soon as they’re shaken from his feet, he leaves the room. 

“That wasn’t fair!” He shouts at his parting naked figure. 

“Which pocket?!” Liam calls from the other part of the suite. 

“The inside breast.” Zayn shouts back as he rids himself of his own trousers and boxers. 

“I meant of your wallet?” Liam asks as he comes back in to the room.

He’s too busy flicking through the wallet that he doesn’t notice Zayn until he’s already at the foot of the bed. 

Zayn continues to fist himself as his head is tilted back, half lidded eyes looking down at Liam as he bites down on his bottom lip. He usually does this for show but this isn’t, he needed to get a hand on himself because the thought of Liam getting his hands on him was making the pressure a little too much. 

“You know what you look like.” Liam says and it’s a statement rather than a question. 

Zayn releases his bottom lip and smiles loosely. “I feel like I’m gonna die if you don’t touch me.” 

“I can’t find the condoms.” Liam tells him but there’s no expression on his face. 

Zayn lets go of himself so he can lean forward and grab the wallet from Liam’s hand. He opens it up and pulls a pack of folded up condoms from the back zip compartment. 

“Do you need me to open you up or do you do it yourself?” Liam asks. 

Zayn doesn’t like the way that’s worded, it sounds like the formal Liam he’d met in the Marriot last night. 

“Come here.” He pleads because he can’t prove to Liam how much he wants this, if he’s that far away. 

Liam stares at him for a solid minute and Zayn worries everything’s gone to shit and he’s about to get out of the bed himself and redress when Liam finally decides to move. 

But he doesn’t crawl up the bed, he walks around until he’s stood next to where Zayn lies. Zayn takes the opportunity to take a look at how blessed Liam is and he grins a little to himself because Harry was wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with Liam’s cock, it’s a perfect size and shape. One of the best Zayn’s seen and he’s seen his fair few. 

“Come here.” Liam says softly and reaches for Zayn’s leg. 

Zayn scoots over until Liam can grab both of his legs and drag him so they’re both hanging off the side of the bed. He puts his index and middle finger on Zayn’s bottom lip. Zayn watches Liam’s face as he takes the fingers in to his mouth. His own lips part and his eyes go a little glassy and a smug feeling runs through Zayn because he loves to be the one to do that to a person. 

Once Liam’s fingers are wet to his satisfaction, he pulls them from Zayn’s lips. He reaches down to lift one of Zayn’s feet up to rest on the bed and then the other. Then he’s dropping to his knees and Zayn’s dropping on to his back because that image is too much to take. 

It’s not until he feels a unfamiliar hand on his dick that is quickly replaced by a warm mouth, that he lifts himself back up on to his elbows. Liam grins, it’s all eyes considering his mouth is full of Zayn’s dick. He doesn’t give a warning--apart from closing his eyes to suck Zayn down completely--before he slips a finger in, all the way down to the knuckle. 

“Fuck.” Zayn cries out, toes curling in to the duvet. 

Liam works him over until he’s a withering mess and he has to twist his fingers in the other lad’s hair, to pull him off before he comes. 

“Okay?” Liam asks, voice a wreck. 

Zayn wants to shake his head no because Liam’s doing something to his body and mind that he can’t quite understand. 

“Could you come from doing that?” Zayn asks instead, noticing how hard the other lad is. 

Liam shrugs bashfully and leans back over to kiss him but Zayn crawls back on to the bed so he has to follow suit. 

“Are you okay to bottom?” Liam checks, knocking their noses together. “I didn’t ask.” 

Zayn’s a little taken back because no one ever does. He’s usually there as a object of pleasure, it’s never his choice. 

“I’m like a tilt turn, babe.” Zayn explains with a hint of a smile. “I go both ways.” 

“You don’t have a preference?” Liam wonders, running his fingers down Zayn’s thigh and making him shiver. 

Zayn rubs their noises together and smiles when Liam scrunches his up. “It depends what mood I’m in.” 

“What mood are you in?” Liam asks, moving his hips so their cocks rub together and it knocks the air out Zayn. 

“Ruin me.” Zayn pleads. 

Liam pulls back and frowns and Zayn worries he’s realised what he’s about to do and will chuck him out. 

“Where’d you put the condoms?” He asks instead. 

Zayn looks around until the red foil catches his eye from under the pillows and he stretches his hand out to grab them. He hands them to Liam and mirrors his thankful smile. 

The hairs on Liam’s thighs are on end as he settles himself on Zayn’s thighs to put on the condom. Zayn reaches out to flatten them down with his hands as he watches Liam roll the condom down his length. 

They’re in a perfect position that if Zayn were to jack Liam off, the spunk would probably cover him from his hips to lips. 

“Okay?” Liam asks after he’s given himself a few tugs, with the condom now on. 

Zayn nods and takes his hands from Liam’s thighs so he can situate himself back between Zayn’s. 

“Okay?” Liam checks for a third time as he presses the back of Zayn’s thigh towards his chest so he can see where he’s guiding himself. 

“Fuck me already.” Zayn pleads impatiently. 

Liam presses in slowly at first but once he’s bottomed out, he’s pulling back and snapping his hips forward with a pace that drags out any air left in Zayn’s lungs. 

He keeps up the same pace until there’s sweat dripping from both of them and Zayn’s fingers are itching to touch his own cock. Then he flips them over and looks up at Zayn with a dopey smile, clearly knackered. 

“Thought I was the old one.” Zayn teases as reaches back to line Liam’s cock right so he can sink back down on to him. 

“Show me what you got, old man.” Liam comes back, his hands touching every inch of Zayn’s now sweat covered body. 

Zayn does as he’s told and he rests both his hands on Liam’s chest for leverage to lift himself up and sink back down slowly. Liam pretends to fake yawn and Zayn tries not to laugh as he lifts himself up again but this time circles his hips as he slides back down. 

“Good?” He asks slightly breathless when Liam stops smirking to lick his lips instead. 

Liam nods and circles his hand around the back of Zayn’s neck to drag him down for a kiss. It’s a hot and messy kiss and only turns Zayn on more and the moment Liam’s hand slips between them, to wrap his around him, it only takes two tugs and he’s coming all across both their chests. 

“Maybe you’re not the old one after all.” Liam teases. 

“Idiot.” Zayn says fondly and licks his own cum off his collarbone. 

Liam puts his hands on Zayn’s hips and moves his feet flat on the bed so he can thrust up in to Zayn, at the same pace he had before. 

Zayn hisses a little as his sensitive cock rubs between them but it’s totally worth it to hear the noise Liam makes when he comes. He hisses again when Liam pulls out of him but that one is kissed from his lips. 

“I call first shower.” Liam decides. 

Zayn snorts where his face is pressed to Liam’s neck. “You didn’t shotgun.” 

“Shotgun.” Liam tries. 

“Shotgun.” Zayn says at the same time. 

“Jinx.” 

“Jinx.” Zayn echoes and sits up to offer the younger lad a smile. “Come on, I’ll show you what I can do with my mouth.” 

It takes seconds for Liam to chase after him once he’s climbed off the bed. 

They wash each other in the shower and Zayn gives Liam a blowjob that has him almost crying when he comes, which makes him a little proud. He washes away where they’d dirtied up the lad’s clean stomach, while he recovers. 

Liam climbs back in to the bed once they’d dried themselves off while Zayn goes to find his jacket and cigarettes. 

“What are you doing?” Liam asks sleepily as he watches Zayn pull on some boxers. 

Zayn turns around to show him the pack of cigarettes trapped between his teeth. Liam only hums so Zayn finishes pulling the boxers on and takes the cigarettes from his mouth. 

“Do you mind?” Zayn asks. 

Liam shakes his head and looks seconds from sleep. “I’d join you but I’m lazy.” 

“I won’t be long.” Zayn promises and stares at the sleepy lad for a beat too long before he finally heads to the balcony. 

He’s not very good with heights. When he was a kid, they used to live in tower block and there was a certain part of their block called ‘the suicide floor’ where people would go to jump. He spent far too many mornings, peeking through his mother’s fingers--that were supposed to be covering his eyes to stop him seeing--to see the after affects of jumping from a twenty story building. 

He’d gotten better, especially considering his job because people with money for some reason like things up high--Lin reckons it’s so they can look down on the poor--and so now he deals with it by making sure to never look down. 

So, as he lights his cigarette while stood on the balcony of Liam’s penthouse suite, he makes sure to keep his eyes level with the buildings opposite. He’s in the middle of watching a woman in the building opposite, attempting to soothe her crying baby back to sleep when a rustle of sheets pulls his eyes away. 

“I get it.” Liam says from inside. . 

Zayn turns around to lean his back against the railing and looks in at him. “Get what?” 

“How you sell this,” Liam explains. “You even had me believing you really wanted it for a moment there.” 

The words make Zayn freeze but the guard he had let down soon rebuilds itself and he offers Liam his usual professional smirk. 

“I’m good at what I do.” He replies finally. 

Lee hums in agreement and rolls over so his back is facing Zayn. “Goodnight, Zayn.” 

“Sweet dreams, Liam.” Zayn says and turns back around to face the brightly lit London night. 

He waits for the snores to echo from inside the hotel room before he lets his shoulders sink and a disappointed sigh pass his lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for awful smut. It's not and never will be my strong point. Hope you enjoyed the drama though. The fic is also on my tumblr letsyesnomaybe.tumblr.com x


	3. Chapter 3

Zayn wakes up the next morning to a hand on a hip and lips pressed the fantail tattooed on to his back. He knows Liam is still asleep because he’s still snoring, the air from his nose tickling the back of Zayn’s neck. 

It’s selfish and stupid the way he keeps his body as still as possible, not wanting to wake Liam out of fear of having the other lad move. Eventually his bladder makes the decision for him, reminding him of the reason he’d woken up in the first place. 

He hears Liam grumble as he moves out of the bed but he doesn’t make an appearance in the bathroom until Zayn has moved away from the toilet to run himself a bath. 

“Another bath?” Liam asks, rubbing absentmindedly at his stomach as he walks in to the room. 

“We’ve only got a shower at ours.” Zayn says without thinking. 

Liam hums and walks over to turn the shower. “Does it bother him?” 

“Who?” Zayn asks, adding bubble bath to the running water. 

“Your boyfriend?” Liam offers. 

Zayn snorts and swishes around the water with his hand. “I think Harry’s boyfriend would be pissed if he found out he was my boyfriend too.” 

“Harry?” Liam asks. “Is that who you were with yesterday?” 

“He’s my roommate,” Zayn informs him. “Not that it’s any of your business.” 

“Because I pay for your time not your personal information, right?” Liam says with a spiteful tone that Zayn didn’t have when he’d said the same words yesterday. 

“I’m still a person,” Zayn retorts. “You rich people think because you can throw money about, that people will give you whatever you want. Well we won’t. You get my time and my body, you’re not fucking having the only piece of my life I get for myself.” 

Liam’s mouth parts and closes, like a fish. Zayn knows he should apologise because Lin’s probably already cursing his name after the shit storm he caused last night. But he can’t bring himself to so instead he turns on his foot and walks out of the room. 

He gets his cigarettes from the bed side table and his phone from his trousers and he walks out on to the balcony. 

He flicks through his phone once he’s got his cigarette lit and hovers over Harry’s name before scrolling through his contacts until he gets to the very bottom. 

“Hello?” Waliyha answers, sounding bored. 

“Don’t sound to happy to hear from me, baby sis.” He teases as he fiddles with the burning cigarette in his hand. 

“Zayn?!” Waliyha shouts excisted and then there’s a loud crash. “Shit.” 

Zayn snorts and waits for her to pick up where she’d clearly dropped the phone. “Alright?” 

“No, you’re an arsehole.” Waliyha informs him. “You said once a month, it’s been three. You know how annoying Saf gets. She asks me if you’ve called at least twice a day, I was gonna backhand her the next time she asked.” 

“I haven’t got long,” He admits. “Is she there?” 

“She’s sulking in her room ‘cause Doni wouldn’t let her crash her cinema date.” Waliyha informs him, her breath picking up as she begins to walk somewhere. “I swear she’s getting more annoying the older she gets.” 

“Like you did.” Zayn teases. “Doni’s got a new lad?” 

“Nah, It’s the same one from the last time you called,” Waliyha replies. “Sami, remember?” 

“Yeah, he sounded nice.” Zee decides. 

Waliyha makes some kind of noise of agreement. “There’s someone on the phone for you, brat.” 

“Go away.” Safaa mumbles somewhere away from the phone. 

Zayn flicks away the ash from the cigarette he was yet to touch and finally takes a drag as he listens to his sisters go back and forth. 

“Hello?” Safaa says finally. 

“Hiya, babe.” He says as he blows out the smoke, her voice and the cigarette mixing together to soothe him. 

“Zayn?” She asks and then sounds like she chocks on a sob. “It’s been three months! You said once a month! You promised once a month!” 

“I know I did, priya.” Zayn replies, his heart breaking to hear her upset. “Please don’t cry.” 

“I miss you.” She tells him with a sniffle. “No one’s nice to me here.” 

“Lying won’t make him come home, you know.” Waliyha informs her, voice slightly muffled where she’s away from the receiver. “Trust me I’ve tried.” 

“I’m gonna get some money soon,” Zayn explains. “How about I pay for you and Wali to come up and see me?” 

“Can we?” Safaa asks excited. 

“Ask Mammi?” Zayn suggests and spots Liam walking around the bedroom, now in a towel. “I’ve got to go, babe. I’ve got to get to work and make the money for you to come up. I’ll call you soon, okay?” 

“But--” Safaa tries. 

“We’ll ask Mammi,” Waliyha says clear in to the phone, that’s been snatched from her sister if the loud yelling is anything to go by. “Love you, dickhead.” 

“Love you too,” Zayn replies, purposely turning away and talking quieter when Liam comes closer to the balcony. “Both of you. I’ll call again soon, okay?” 

“Okay, bye.” Waliyha calls happily, ignoring her sister’s complaints. 

Zayn hangs up the phone and stubs out what’s left of his cigarette before flicking it off the balcony. Liam’s sitting on the end of the bed and putting his socks on but he looks up when Zayn walks inside. 

“I want you to come on a business lunch with me,” He explains. “You’ve got time to have your bath but I’d thought I’d let you know.” 

“How should I dress?” Zayn asks, feeling more naked under Liam’s gaze there than he had the night previous. 

Liam finally looks back to what he’s doing. “The way you were dressed yesterday should be fine. The jeans and shirt, it’s only a casual thing.” 

“Okay.” Zayn agrees and walks back in to the bathroom to take his bath. 

***

Zayn doesn’t really understand where they’re going for this business meeting until they’re getting out of the car. 

“Twickenham.” Zayn observes. 

“Yeah, I told you my father had a box.” Liam reminds him as he comes around the car to meet him. “Lou’s playing today.” 

“I don’t keep up with football.” He says. 

What he doesn’t say is he used to. He used to go to every game Bradford city every played but when he left home, that stopped. When Louis left, he made sure to avoid anything even relating to football, out of fear of seeing his face. 

“Well, it’s a pretty big game.” Liam explains, his hand finding Zayn’s back as they walk towards the stadium. “The championship decider.” 

“Cool.” Zayn says out of lack of anything else to say. 

Liam doesn’t question him and an awkward silence falls over them as they walk in to the building and up the stairs. 

“The match isn’t for a while yet,” Liam says and nods to a few guys who are stood off to the side. “I’ve got to go over some business things. Will you be alright?” 

Zayn nods and puts on a smile when Liam leans in to kiss his cheek because he knows it’s all for show. 

“Lou’s around here somewhere.” Liam tells him before he walks away from him and over to the guys. 

Zayn doesn’t look for Louis, instead he looks for the bar. But because his life seems destine to suck, when he finds what he wants, he also finds what he doesn’t. 

He makes sure to go to the opposite end of the bar to where Louis is and offers the barman his most charming smile so he can be served next. 

“Whiskey, whatever is your best, please.” He requests when the young lad comes straight over to him. 

“It must be nice to have such a pretty face,” The girl beside him says. “I’ve been waiting here for ten minutes and he hasn’t even looked my way.” 

She's not bad looking herself, with blonde locks, tanned skin and a perfectly symmetrical face. But she's quite small, her collarbone barely level with the bar top. That paired with the fact Zayn called out the barman swinging his way from once glance, she didn't have much chance in getting the young lad's attention. 

“What do you want?” He asks. 

“A Stella and a diet coke.” She answers. 

“Mate,” Zayn calls and waits for the barman to look over. “A Stella and a diet coke too, please.” 

The barman nods and turns around to finish pouring his drink. 

“Thank you.” She says sweetly and turns to face him, revealing a small baby bump and offering her hand. “Stella like the drink.” 

“Zayn,” He replies as he shakes her hand. “Do you often order drinks you’re named after?” 

“My fiance likes to,” Stella explains. “He still thinks it’s funny, after two years.” 

Zayn knows that’s a Louis thing to do and a moment of worry washes over him but he quickly squashes it, putting it down to his overactive brain. The barman puts the drinks down on the bar in front of them and Zayn tugs out his wallet, offering his card. 

“My mother always said the men who drink before mid day are dangerous and should be avoided.” Stella tells him, a look of disappointment on her face that only a mother figure could give. 

“Sounds like your mother was a smart woman.” Zayn replies and picks up his whisky to sip at it. 

“Who broke your heart?” Stella asks. 

Zayn doesn’t mean to let his eyes flicker down the bar but they do, landing on the boy who’s now laughing, it echoing to Zayn’s ears like a song you really want to forget but you know will be in your head all day once you’ve heard it. 

“That’s my fiance,” Stella informs him. “Always has to be the loudest wherever we go.” 

Louis looks over at them, like his ears are burning and he smiles because his eyes must find Stella first but it quickly fades when they must land on Zayn. He makes quick work of walking over to them, clearly worried Zayn’s some kind of monster who would blurt out his darkest secret and break some innocent girl’s heart. 

“Alright, babe.” He greets, hand easily slipping around her waist. “Some of the other girls are going to head out for a bite to eat--” 

“Don’t make me go.” Stella pleads before he can finish. “They all hate me.” 

“They don’t hate you,” Louis argues. “They don’t like that you’re so perfect, it makes them feel inadequate.” 

Stella scrunches her nose up. “Try hard.” 

“Go, for me?” He pleads. “I promise once the game is over we’ll go to that chinese you like and then Tesco to get loads of shitty food and you can pick whatever film you want.” 

“Promise?” She asks. 

Louis leans in to steal a kiss from her pouting lips. “Promise, go on.” 

“Fine,” Stella huffs and looks at Zayn. “It was nice to meet you, Zayn.” 

“You too, babe.” Zayn replies with a polite nod. 

“I hope someone fixes your heart,” Stella says and reaches out squeeze his cheek. “You’re far to pretty to look so solemn.” 

Zayn offers her a smile and a cheeky wink. “It’s a shame you’re already taken, ey?” 

“Tell him that,” She replies, nodding to her fiance. “Doesn’t know how lucky he is.” 

“Will you get going before they go without you.” Louis says with a huff. 

“Oh no.” Stella says sarcastically and grins at Zayn, pulling a natural laugh from him. 

“Go.” Louis demands and swats her arse as she finally walks away. 

“Cheeky,” She calls back. “Love you.” 

“To the ends of the earth, babe.” He calls after her and keeps his eyes on her until she’s out of sight. 

Zayn finishes his drink by the time Louis looks back at him. 

“What did you say to her?” Louis asks lowly. 

“Said you’re a closeted homosexual who regularly takes it up the arse and can get off just from sucking another guys cock.” Zayn replies with a fake smile. 

“You’re a dick.” Louis tells him. 

Zayn shrugs. “Pot kettle and all that.” 

“She knows,” Louis says as Zayn try to get the barman’s attention to get his drink refilled. “We do like, stuff, you know like stuff that’s like--” 

“I don’t care what you and your fiance do to make sure your gay tendencies are tended to.” Zayn tells him and smiles at the barman who takes his glass from him. “Can I have a tab, babe? I think I’ll be needing a few.” 

“Name?” The barman asks. 

“Put it on mine.” Louis says irritated. 

“Zayn,” Zayn answers before the barman can do that. “Want my number too?” 

The barman glances at Louis and then shrugs. “Yeah, alright.” 

Louis huffs impatiently but doesn’t move through the entire process of the barman finding a pen and paper for Zayn to jot his number down on. 

“Are you done?” He asks, once Zayn has a fresh drink and the barman (who he find out is actually called Louis too) had gone to serve someone else. 

“With you?” Zayn replies and picks up his glass to take a sip. “Got done with that years ago, mate.” 

“Don’t have anymore of those,” Louis scolds. “You’re getting drunk and you shouldn’t make a fool of yourself for Liam.” 

“He doesn’t know does he?” Zayn asks, quickly glancing over at Liam to make sure he’s distracted by the other businessmen. “He doesn’t know what happened between us?” 

“Of course he doesn’t,” Louis replies, his voice low like he’s scared Liam might hear too. “Liam’s a sweetheart, if he knew what happened between us--”

“He’d call you out for being the arsehole you are?” Zayn guesses. 

Louis sighs. “I was trying to do something nice.” 

“You think setting up the hooker that fell in love with you with your mate is nice.” Zayn scoffs loudly. “You’re fucking mental.” 

“Will you keep your voice down!” Louis scolds, glaring at the few people that are now looking at them so they’ll look away. 

Zayn finishes his drink and slams it back down on the bar. “Louis! I’ll have another when you’re ready?” 

Barman Louis nods from where he was filling two pints for a footballer that Zayn feels he’s supposed to know. 

“You’re a fucking idiot.” Louis tells him. “You could have something good, Zayn. I tried to get you something good.” 

“You tried to save me again,” Zayn spits back. “I’ve told you I don’t need fucking saving. I suck cock for a living but that’s my decision. I made my choices in life and it’s not up to you and your rich fucking friends to think you can throw your money at me and make it all better. I could have all the money in the world but it’s not gonna bring her back.” 

“What’s going on?” Liam asks and when Zayn looks to him, he looks so lost that a load of guilt hits Zayn like a freak train. 

“I’m not feeling very well,” Zayn lies. “Could you apologise to your business friends for me?” 

“If you’re not well then we’ll go back to the hotel,” Liam says because Louis wasn’t lying when he said he’s a sweetheart. “I can rearrange to talk to them another time.” 

“It’s okay,” Zayn assures him. “I’m gonna go back to the hotel and have a lie down, that’s all. You can stay.” 

“I’m coming with you.” Liam says like it’s not up for discussion. “I’ll see you another time, Lou.” 

“Sure.” Louis agrees easily. 

“Good luck with the match,” He says and takes the glass Zayn was clutching in his hand to set it back on the bar. “Come on.” 

Zayn allows him to lead away from the bar and waits when he’s told to so Liam can apologise to his business partners. 

“You didn’t have to come with me.” Zayn says as they walk back to the car. 

“Truth be told I hate those kind of business meetings,” Liam admits. “I don’t even get to really watch Lou play ‘cause those guys talk all the way through the match. At least this way I can work and veg out on room service while watching the match.” 

Zayn nods and doesn’t argue anymore because he does have an actual headache coming on, down-fault of drinking two glasses of whisky in the space of a few minutes. 

Neither he or Liam speak the entire ride back to the hotel or when they get to the room. It seem to be a silent agreement that Liam will settle in the living room to do his work and watch the match while Zayn goes to have his lie down. 

But it only last about five minutes before thoughts circling Zayn’s mind that he doesn’t want get too much and the sound of the match starting, leads in from the living room. 

“My heads hurting too much to sleep.” He admits when Liam looks up as he walks in the living room. 

“There’s some tablets in my toiletries bag.” Liam replies, putting aside the papers that were on his lap and looks like he’s about to get up to go and get them. 

“It’s okay,” Zayn assures him as he sits down. “It’ll go away on it’s own.” 

“Come here.” Liam says and gestures to his lap. 

Zayn must look curious because Liam’s cheeks heat up. 

“I meant lie down.” He corrects. 

“Oh, no, it’s okay.” Zayn argues. “It’ll go away on it’s own, it’s okay.” 

“Lie down, please?” Liam requests. 

Zayn wishes Liam didn’t have a face that resembled a puppy because it makes him impossible to say no to.  

“If I was poorly or sad when I was little my mum used to do this.” Liam explains and he slowly starts to stroke different parts of Zayn’s face. 

“My mum used to feed us if we were ill,” Zayn replies and hums happily as what Liam’s doing actually soothes his aching head. “Even if you had a bad stomach, she claimed you needed to eat to throw up the bugs. Until I was nine I was always looking in my throw up for those bugs.” 

Liam laughs and Zayn decides it’s probably one of the best sounds he’s ever heard. 

“That’s one I’ve never heard before,” Liam tells him. “Bet it was hard for you to fake sick days.” 

“Impossible,” Zayn agrees. “She worked at the school dinner hall too so I couldn’t even fake it to the school nurse ‘cause they’d send me to her.” 

“You poor thing.” Liam teases. 

“Bet your mum’s a right softy, right?” Zayn guesses. 

“She was yeah.” Liam replies, sounding lost in thought.

Zayn blinks open his eyes and earns himself a sad smile from the other lad. “Sorry.” 

“S’alright, it was a long time ago.” Liam assures him and runs his fingers through Zayn’s hair. 

“How old were you?” Zayn asks softly. 

“You don’t know?” Liam replies with a curious expression. “Or are you supposed to ask stuff like that to break down my barriers or whatever?” 

And like that Zayn’s back to being the hooker. 

“Caroline doesn’t tell me anything,” Zayn explains and closes his eyes again because as much as he wants to get up an run away, he’s got a job to do. “I prefer not to know, it’s not my place.” 

“Right.” Liam says and a silence falls over them. 

***

Zayn must fall asleep because when he wakes up, it’s to Liam’s thighs slightly jostling him from where he seems unable to keep still from the excitement of watching Louis’ football match. 

“Are they winning?” He wonders as he sits up. 

“Lou’s got a penalty that could win them the match.” Liam explains, not taking his eyes off the screen as he leans forward and bites down on nail bed of his index finger nervously. 

Zayn tugs his hand away from his mouth. “That’s a horrible habit.” 

Liam glances at him and then down at their hands that he entwines together before looking back at the TV screen. 

“Come on, Lou.” He cheers as he grips Zayn’s hand deathly tight. 

Zayn keeps his eyes on Liam, not really caring if Louis gets the goal or misses. He’s kind of amazed at how expressive Liam’s face can be. It goes from worried to nervous to finally elated when Louis must make the goal. He seems to use his eyebrows and lips to make up most his expressions but when his eyes land back on Zayn, the emotion is completely held in them. They’re practically twinkling with how happy he is. 

“He’s gonna be so chuffed!” He decides as he beams a smile. 

Zayn thinks back to the person he’d met that first night, he’d been like every uptight rich business man that Caroline had matched Zayn with in the past. But the person now sat in front of him, he’s the complete opposite. In front of him sits the twenty two year old boy, whose father’s death had made him grow up to soon. Here sits a boy that Zayn could happily spend a lifetime getting to know and fall in love with. 

The last thought scares him so he does what he does best when he’s scared and he attempts to bolt. Only their entwined hands hold him in place and Liam’s expression quickly goes from beaming to the frown that Zayn hates. So, he does the second thing he’s best at and he uses the hand holding Liam’s to drag the other lad in to a kiss. 

He worries when Liam tugs their hands apart that the kiss might have been a mistake. But when Liam’s hand moves to the back of his neck, the worry is quickly washed away and he allows himself to sink in to the kiss. 

It’s not like last night, he knows now that Liam isn’t his to have, it’s the other way around. So, this time he does what the job implies and he gives Liam whatever he needs. Which means breaking the kiss to crawl on the floor and between Liam’s legs. 

“No,” Liam argues and reaches for Zayn’s arms. “Come here.” 

Zayn’s confused but he allows for himself to be dragged back up. He settles on Liam’s thighs when he’s gestured to and watches as Liam reaches to undo his own trousers. He only pushes them down enough to pull himself free and then he’s reaching to undo Zayn’s jeans, to mirror the image. 

It’s not exactly comfortable, his balls still trapped inside his jeans and under the elastic of his boxers. But Liam wraps his large hand around both of them and Zayn’s breath catches. 

“Okay?” Liam checks as his free hand slips back behind Zayn’s neck, to drag their foreheads together. 

“S’good.” Zayn tells him, feeling like his fifteen year old self who could come from someone elses hand being on him. 

“Kiss me.” Liam requests as he works them over. 

Zayn does, it’s sloppy and not in sync but it turns him on even more. He’s got his fingers digging in to Liam’s shoulder as he grinds in to the other lad’s hand. The entire situation feels like they’re a pair of kids trying to get off before their parents get home, not two full grown adults in a suite that costs more than Zayn’s rent and bills combined. 

It’s embarrassing how quickly his orgasm builds and he comes while panting Liam’s name against his mouth. Liam keeps going as Zayn comes down and he hisses as he had last night. But it’s worth it because when Liam comes, he bites down on Zayn’s neck with a grunt of his name. 

“We’re kind of a mess.” Zayn observes as he looks down at them. 

Liam huffs in to Zayn’s neck, making him shiver. “I’m not gonna be able to move for a minute.” 

“I’ll go run the bath.” Zayn decides but it takes a few attempts to get Liam to let him go so he can get up. 

“You’re obsessed.” Liam tells him, dropping his head back on to the couch. 

Zayn grumbles slightly as he tries to rearrange the mess that now is his lower self. “I told you, we don’t have one so I take advantage while I can.” 

He walks through the suite and in to the bathroom to switch on the bath and when he comes back out, it’s to find Liam was yet to move. 

“Come on, sleepyhead.” He says as he reaches for Liam’s hands. “You can sleep when you’re clean.” 

“I have six,” Liam explains as he’s dragged to stand up. “Four for the guest bathrooms, one in mine and one in the main one.”

“Sounds like a dream of mine.” Zayn tells him as he leads him towards the bathroom. 

“Who needs six baths when they live alone?” Liam asks rhetorically. “I don’t even take baths. I don’t have time to take baths.” 

“Well you’re gonna take one now.” Zayn informs him and sits him down on the edge of said bath so he can strip him of his clothes. 

“Will you take one with me?” Liam requests as Zayn tugs his shirt over his head. 

Zayn snorts, knowing what Harry would say if he was here right now. He’d be telling Zayn his life might be like Pretty Woman afterall. 

“What?” Liam asks, reaching for him. “Is that one of Caroline’s rules?” 

“Yeah, I can eat your arse but I can’t take a bath with you.” Zayn jokes. 

Liam pushes down Zayn’s jeans and boxers. “It’s fun to break the rules sometimes.” 

“It’s dangerous territory.” Zayn replies because he can feel himself breaking his one rule and he knows he’ll only end up hurt in the end. 

Liam tugs Zayn’s shirt over his head. “Who doesn’t like a bit of danger?” 

“You’re a right rebel, Liam Payne.” Zayn teases. 

Liam smiles and his eyes disappear and Zayn’s clearly lost control because his brain doesn’t even process it before he dives forward to kiss him. Of course life seems to not be on the side because with the weight of Zayn on him, has Liam toppling back in to the bath. 

“Ow!” He says before he cracks up laughing. 

Zayn laughs too and reaches for the end of Liam’s jeans to tug them off. 

“It’s bloody boiling.” Liam complains after he’d pushed off his boxers too and had moved to sit in the bath properly. “I feel like my balls are on fire.” 

“How I like it.” Zayn says as he climbs in to the gap Liam had left between his legs. 

“Don’t sit by the faucet,” Liam scolds when Zayn sits facing him, with his back to the taps. “It’ll scold you.” 

“How do you suggest we share a bath?” Zayn asks, leaning back to turn off the still running tap. 

“Come here?” Liam suggests and reaches for Zayn’s arm to pull him forward. 

Zayn huffs but moves around so his back is pressed to Liam’s front. “Happy?” 

“That your not scolding yourself?” Liam asks and reaches for the sponge resting on the side of the bath. “Ecstatic.” 

“I’m not good at therapy.” Zayn tells him as he cleans the spunk from his chest. 

“Okay?” Liam replies, clearly confused. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Zayn says and takes the sponge from Liam so he can return the favour. 

“Tell me.” Liam pleads, trying to catch Zayn’s eyes.

“Pretty Woman?” Zayn offers and Liam looks at him blank. “It’s a film about a guy who falls in love with a hooker. There’s a scene in it where they’re sat in the bathtub and he’s telling her all about his life.” 

“Do I have to tell you all about my life?” Liam wonders. 

“I’d listen if you wanted to.” Zayn says with a shrug and dips the sponge in to the water before wiping at Liam’s chest down to his stomach. 

“A movie like that actually exists?” Liam wonders. 

Zayn nods. “It’s pretty famous.” 

“I’ll have to watch it.” Liam decides as Zayn turns back around. 

“Harry, my roommate, he reckoned my life was like that.” Zayn says as he lifts Liam’s hand up so he can clean his arm. “In the beginning, he thought it was all handsome rich men willing to whisk me away from my awful life.” 

Liam rests his chin down on Zayn’s shoulder. “What happened?” 

“Life,” Zayn explains, dropping the sponge to play with Liam’s wrinkling fingers. “Some guy pretending he was scared of admitting who he really was when in reality he was really good at playing the part because he was actually a homophobic arsehole.” 

“He hurt you?” Liam guesses, the hand resting on Zayn’s thigh, now tightening around it almost protectively.

“Had his buddy waiting in the hotel room,” Zayn replies and grabs Liam’s index finger to run it along the scar on his nose. “They didn’t have the guts to kill me so they tried to scar me to put me out of business. Lin’s got magic hands though so It healed in a few weeks and I was only left with this. The broken ribs though, they took about three months.” 

Liam uses the hand on Zayn’s face to turn it to face him. “You didn’t deserve that.” 

“It’s alright,” Zayn tells him with an easy smile. “Lin’s husband and his buddies sorted them out for me.” 

“He killed them?” Liam worries. 

Zayn snorts because Liam’s looks genuinely panicked. “He tattooed 'homophobe' on their foreheads so everyone would know what they are.” 

“Was that the only time something like that happened?” Liam asks, letting go of Zayn’s face. 

Zayn rests his head back against Liam’s shoulder. “That was the last time, there were a few guys before that were too rough or thought they deserved something I wasn’t willing to give. But Lin’s thorough with her background checks and her rules now, she keeps us safe.” 

Liam presses a few butterfly kisses to Zayn’s exposed neck and along his shoulder. 

“Think we did the therapy the wrong way around.” Zayn jokes. 

“How did they end their therapy session?” Liam wonders as he runs his hand down Zayn’s chest. 

“I don’t know,” Zayn replies, his breath hitching slightly as Liam’s hand disappears beneath the water. “They went straight in to the next scene.” 

“Guess we’ll have to wing it then.” Liam decides as he presses more kisses to Zayn’s shoulder. 

“We’re supposed to be in here to get clean.” Zayn argues. 

Liam finally touches him and smiles against his neck. “We’ll shower afterwards.” 

Zayn’s hips buck up in to Liam’s hand at their own accord so really he’s lost the argument. 

***

They don’t go out that night. Instead Liam cancels anything he had planned and orders them a ridiculous amount of room service. After much debate (first over which superhero was the best and second over which movie to watch) they settle on watching the avenger series. 

They’re two films in and have finally found a comfortable position on the floor with Liam sat back against the couch while Zayn uses his lap as a pillow. 

“See that’s why Tony is the best.” Zayn decides as he feeds Liam some popcorn from the bowl resting on his stomach. 

“Because he has good comebacks?” Liam wonders as he chews the popcorn. 

Zayn reaches up to close his mouth. “Don’t speak with your mouth full.” 

“You know, it should be worrying that sometimes you remind me of my mother, considering I’ve sucked your dick.” Liam explains after he’d swallowed what was in his mouth. 

“Maybe she’s channelling through me to make sure you stop being a disgusting pig?” Zayn suggests, offering him some more popcorn. 

“Wouldn’t put it past her.” Liam agrees before opening his mouth. 

Zayn puts the popcorn aside and sits up. “If I genuinely ask you what happened, will you tell me?”

“If I answer your question then you have to answer mine?” Liam offers. 

“What’s your question?” Zayn wonders. 

“You have to agree before I ask it.” Liam decides. “I don’t want to answer your question and then have you turn around and refuse to answer mine.” 

Zayn huffs and moves to sit so he’s mirroring the way Liam’s sat. “Go on then.” 

“I was twelve,” Liam answers Zayn’s earlier question. “She had breast cancer. She got diagnosed before I was born and fought it off but then they found another lump when she was having me. She choose to have me over saving herself and when they could finally operate, they told her it had spread and she’d only have five years but she managed twelve.” 

“Sounds like a tough old bird.” Zayn tells him. 

“She was but she was sneaky too,” Liam explains. “Turns out after she got over her first diagnosis, she went a bit wild. One night in London with her friends, she met my dad and I was made.” 

“Oh.” Zayn says as begins to catch on. 

“Yeah,” Liam says with a slight smile. “She wrote it in her bloody will, the little sneak. For twelve years I thought I had the same dad as my sisters and then at me mum’s funeral this guy turns up and informs me it’s all bollocks.” 

“Were you mad at her?” Zayn wonders. 

“At the start I was,” Liam admits. “It broke my dad’s heart to find out, I still don’t think he believes she’d do it to him. But then Tony, my real dad, he was so much like me. We even laughed the same, it was creepy.” 

“That’s messed up.” Zayn tells him. 

“Yeah,” Liam agrees quietly. “Now the two people that made that mess are gone and the one who helped raised me can no longer look at me.” 

“At least yours are gone instead of being here and pretending you’re dead.” Zayn says. 

Liam opens his mouth as if he wants to ask a question but then shakes his head. “No, if I ask that then you won’t answer my other one.” 

“You’re smart.” Zayn says with a slight smile. “Go on then, hit us with it.” 

“The girl tattooed on your arm is she the same girl you were talking to Louis about?” Liam asks. 

Zayn reaches up subconsciously to cover the tattoo. 

“I thought she was your sister or something,” Liam continues. “But then I saw a picture of three girls in your wallet and none of them look like her. Who is she?” 

“That was two questions, Liam.” Zayn points out. 

“I think the second answers the first.” Liam replies. “Answer the second.” 

“She was a girl I knew from back home.” Zayn answers. 

“Did you love her?” Liam asks. 

“To an extent.” Zayn nods. 

“You don’t want to tell me, it’s fine. I thought,” Liam says but leaves the end of the sentence open ended. 

“What did you think?” Zayn pushes. 

“Nothing,” Liam says and turns his attention back to the film. “Not paying for your personal information, I get it.” 

Zayn sighs. “You don’t want to know, okay? If I tell you then you’re not going to look at me the same and Lin will kill me if you can go off and tell people I’m not this perfect doll she likes to sell.” 

“I hate everyone I work with,” Liam reminds him. “They’re all homophobic arseholes. It’s kind of the point of you.” 

“Her name was Penelope,” Zayn starts and digs his blunt nails in to the skin where her face is permanently inked. “My lucky Penny.” 

“Was she your girlfriend?” Liam asks cautiously. 

“Nah, we were mates, best mates.” Zayn explains. “We knew each other since we were nippers, lived in the same tower block, two floors apart. Our families were friends so we pretty much grew up together. I’d say she was like my sister but the bond was stronger than that, you know.” 

Liam nods, eyes glued to Zayn like he’s swallowing and processing every word he says. 

“Her dad died when we were about seven,” Zayn starts and glues his own eyes to his knees, focusing on the hole in the left leg of the jogging bottoms of Liam’s that he’s wearing. “He got in to some accident at work, fell off some scaffolding. It broke Penny but it completely destroyed her mum. Our block was known to have shit druggy mothers who’d have kids to get more dole money to get more drugs. Penny’s family and mine, we were one of the lucky few but after her dad passed well Penny wasn’t so lucky anymore.” 

Liam tugs Zayn’s hand away from his arm and he’d been so focused on telling the story, he hadn’t even realised how hard he’d been digging his nails in. Zayn tugs Liam hand on to his lap and flips it over, tracing the lifeline with his index finger. 

“Her mum used to sleep with anything to make some money to buy some drugs and when she wouldn’t sell,” He explains and curls Liam’s hand in to a fist. “I tried to protect her, get her away from there when shit got too bad. I’ve got so many cousins that our house was always filled with kids so my mum didn’t bat an eye when a little bruised white girl joined our dinner table now and again.” 

Liam shuffles closer when Zayn falls silent. “What happened?” 

“We were gonna leave,” Zayn explains and takes his hand from Liam’s to rub his hands against his thighs roughly. “We worked our arses off in school, to make sure our grades were high enough for Uni. We only had two years to go, she only had to hold on for two more years.” 

Liam grabs both of Zayn’s wrists in one hand to stop his attempts at subconsciously causing himself pain. 

“I told her I hated her,” Zayn says as he looses himself in the memory. “That was the last thing I ever said to her that I hated her and her slag of a mother. I can’t even remember what the argument was about but I’ll never forget the look on her face after I said it.” 

“She killed herself?” Liam asks softly, like he’s not sure he should. 

“Jumped off the floor in our block that everyone went to to commit suicide,” Zayn replies and scoffs. “She wasn’t even original with it, probably wanted one last thing to piss me off.” 

Liam leans his forehead against Zayn’s temple and when he breaths out ‘I’m sorry’ it almost sounds believable. 

“I didn’t go to her funeral,” Zayn admits. “I didn’t talk to anyone for a month after it happened and when I finally did it was to tell my dad I was gay and he could go fuck himself if he thought I was ever going to become a doctor.” 

“That’s one way to go about It I suppose.” Liam says. 

“Not the kind of thing a proud Asian father wants to hear,” Zayn tells him. “He either killed me or disowned me. I packed my bag and got on the first train before he could make the decision.” 

“And that’s how you ended up doing this?” Liam wonders. 

“Kind of fell in to it, yeah.” Zayn replies. “I got a job at a pub and instead of paying board and lodge, I’d fuck the owner.” 

“How did Lin find you?” Liam asks. 

“She was the owner’s wife.” Zayn answers. 

Liam lifts his head to look at him and when their eyes meet, there’s a soft smile on his lips. 

“I keep telling myself as long as I’m drawing and painting that I’m making her proud.” Zayn admits. “It's probably one of the bigger lies I tell myself.” 

“You can draw?” Liam asks. 

Zayn nods and shrugs at the same time. 

“Draw something for me?” Liam pleads as he climbs up from the floor to collect the hotel pad and pen off the table. 

“What do you want me to draw?” Zayn asks as he takes them when they’re offered. 

“Whatever you want.” Liam says as he sits back down. 

“Are you going to watch me?” Zayn wonders. 

Liam shakes his head quickly and makes a point to pick up the abandoned popcorn and snacks on it as he turns his attention back to the TV. 

Zayn looks at the boy sat beside him who’s pretending to now watch the film they’d missed a good half an hour of. He thinks of everything that had happened since meeting him two nights previous. He thinks of all the feelings that seem to run through him every time this boy does that no eyes smile. 

He draws.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a shit ton of boning and mush for you. Broken souls will eventually find a home and all that :) x


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